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When to give up driving ? #554500
18/01/19 12:40 PM
18/01/19 12:40 PM
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 7,417
West Paris, France
pandy Offline OP
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pandy  Offline OP
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Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 7,417
West Paris, France
The Duke of Edinburgh's accident yesterday does raise the question of when one should give up driving.

About 10 years ago, my father's driving was causing my siblings and I some concern. It had got to the point where we had decided that we needed to broach the subject and point out to him that maybe he was no longer safe behind the wheel, when on his 80th birthday he pre-empted us by announcing that he had decided to stop driving.

It was a relief to all of us, as it was not a discussion any of us had been looking forward to.

We're now getting to that point with my mother (82 now). In fairness, she was always a pretty dreadful driver so the difference is not so noticeable as it had been with my Pa. The Duke's accident may provide a suitable pretext to raise the subject.

My parents live right in the centre of Winchester and one of my sisters lives just around the corner, so helps them a lot. I'd happily pay a taxi account for them, but think it would be hard to get them to accept this, as they are of a generation who see riding around in taxis as an extravagance.


Giles. Mogless in Paris.
Re: When to give up driving ? [Re: pandy] #554502
18/01/19 12:52 PM
18/01/19 12:52 PM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 5,995
Hampshire
Alistair Offline
Smile, it confuses them
Alistair  Offline
Smile, it confuses them
Charter Member

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 5,995
Hampshire
I agree Giles. Winchester is also so blocked with traffic that at least speed will not often be achieved!. We had the same issue with my Father who was strongly independent and proud as a pilot. We watched him go the wrong side of a junction one day and decided we had to stop things.

In the end we got him to agree to the outcome of an assessment by an advanced driving instructor. The instructor cut him down to day time and short journeys with a review the following year, which he failed.


Just time to burn a little more petrol before dinner.
Re: When to give up driving ? [Re: pandy] #554506
18/01/19 01:11 PM
18/01/19 01:11 PM
Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 10,670
Lancashire, England
Stewart S Offline
Wave & smile... It's a Morgan
Stewart S  Offline
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Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 10,670
Lancashire, England
It’s a real concern

My father is 85 and he loves driving although he’s having 3 monthly eye tests

He’s just scraped his new Mercedes along a hedge and wall because he was blinded by the sun when a lorry was coming the other way on a narrow road (similar to the Duke’s problem) which he sorted without going through his insurance but he would be devistated if he wasn’t allowed to drive


2008 Bugatti Blue Roadster 4 Seater
Re: When to give up driving ? [Re: pandy] #554510
18/01/19 01:35 PM
18/01/19 01:35 PM
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 6,240
Llanelli
sospan Offline
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sospan  Offline
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Joined: May 2010
Posts: 6,240
Llanelli
The loss of independance and fear of no car is a huge step to take. We become drawn in to driving and the lifestyle it gives. We are also reluctant to accept our failings and deterioration that creeps up. Some are bloody minded and don’t listen to good advice and these are the difficult cases.
Not being able to drive, especially the Morgan, would be a HUGE wrench to me but at some time it will happen. I just hope I deal with it sensibly.
Until then I will enjoy it and make use of the ability to drive. Selling cars and using the saved money on taxis, public transport is an option but not for our current lifestyle and needs.


Red Plus8
Re: When to give up driving ? [Re: pandy] #554511
18/01/19 01:45 PM
18/01/19 01:45 PM
Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 5,382
Taunton
deano Offline
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deano  Offline
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Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 5,382
Taunton
I naturally want to keep driving as long as possible. However I hope I have enough common sense and will power to accept my future age related failing and stop before forced. I my head this is probably going to be in my late 70s/early 80s. 97 just seems well beyond ones physical/mental/agility capabilities for modern driving!

Last edited by deano; 18/01/19 01:46 PM.

Martin (Deano)
Re: When to give up driving ? [Re: pandy] #554512
18/01/19 02:04 PM
18/01/19 02:04 PM
Joined: Oct 2013
Posts: 6,310
Northamptonshire UK
Stringers Best Mate Offline
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Stringers Best Mate  Offline
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Joined: Oct 2013
Posts: 6,310
Northamptonshire UK
It's all about offering options as alternatives. They see it as independence, which you need to replace with opportunities. Public transport is free with the option of a taxi as a treat, on-line grocery shopping takes away the fear of being stuck in bad weather and family and friends pulling together makes a nice positive.

It came down to cost in the end with my 91 year old father. His car broke down and wouldn't start, and the garage that collected it diagnosed the ECU. A new one was almost £1000 which he quite rightly baulked at, but they found a second hand one which he paid a couple of hundred for, but that too was on it's last legs.

We talked over the costs, and the savings he could make by getting rid with insurance, tax etc and he so desperately wanted to carry on that he talked of getting another car, but the thought of struggling with a model he'd never driven was all getting too much.

He mulled it over for a few weeks, during which time we offered lifts to his regular farm shop run, and he caught the bus to the town.

In the end, he was quite relieved to have the worry of driving taken away. He was never an enthusiast though, and drove because he thought that was the only way.

In the D of E's case, I'd put money on him hitting the wrong pedal, it being an auto. He's just a belligerent ass though.

Options are the key though. Never force anyone, it must be their decision.


Steve
Re: When to give up driving ? [Re: pandy] #554514
18/01/19 02:27 PM
18/01/19 02:27 PM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 5,995
Hampshire
Alistair Offline
Smile, it confuses them
Alistair  Offline
Smile, it confuses them
Charter Member

Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 5,995
Hampshire
Well hopefully by the time we have to hand over the keys to our P&J's the shared use, electric, self driving Zanussi trolly baskets will let us get about.


Just time to burn a little more petrol before dinner.
Re: When to give up driving ? [Re: pandy] #554526
18/01/19 02:58 PM
18/01/19 02:58 PM
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 7,776
The frozen North
J
Jack The Lad Offline
Posting Desperado
Jack The Lad  Offline
Posting Desperado
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J

Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 7,776
The frozen North
They have a Joe Public foc use your car etc to pick people up from home and take people back home from hospitals up here . You get nothing for it but its one way of helping a hospital and the elderly .

Re: When to give up driving ? [Re: Stringers Best Mate] #554529
18/01/19 03:03 PM
18/01/19 03:03 PM
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 2,399
Costock, South Nottinghamshire...
Paul F Offline
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Paul F  Offline
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Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 2,399
Costock, South Nottinghamshire...
Originally Posted By Stringers Best Mate


Options are the key though. Never force anyone, it must be their decision.


That is the key. My father missed seeing a cyclist (didn't hit him) and frightened himself into giving up 3 years ago at 85. I think he gave up too soon, but it was his decision and I did not want to interfere. Parents live on a good bus route (every 15 minutes) and use a taxi to get home with their main shop. Dad looks on the brght side as he is spending a lot less on taxis than he did on running a car. FIL had a minor bump and gave up at 85 (ish). A friend ended up having terrible rows with his father after a bump and confiscation of car keys.

Counting ourselves lucky on this one.

Hoping I have the wisdom to give up at the right time but not looking forward to it.


Paul
Costock, UK
2014 4/4 Rolls Royce Garnet Red
Disco 4
Teddy - 17h1 Irish Draught cross
Re: When to give up driving ? [Re: pandy] #554533
18/01/19 03:08 PM
18/01/19 03:08 PM
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 11,426
Mandello del Lario, Lake Como,...
Gambalunga Offline
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Gambalunga  Offline
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Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 11,426
Mandello del Lario, Lake Como,...
Somewhere I read about a service that was provided where for a small fee, or as volunteers, younger people drive the car of an older car owner. It seemed to me like a reasonable solution. Before my father in law gave up driving he used to make short trips around town but if a longer trip was required he would recruit me to drive him in his car. Lunch was the usual "pay" smile


Peter

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