Talk Morgan Forums Community The Malvern Arms Tongue in cheek Friday humour

I wonder if a receptionist in a sperm bank ever used the words
to a donor .


Thank you for coming

A sperm bank advertised for new donors, as there is a national shortage. Three Essex girls turned up.

A Scotsman rescues an Arab

An Arab Sheik was admitted to Hospital for heart surgery, but prior to the surgery, the doctors needed to store his blood in case the need arises.



As the gentleman had a rare type of blood, it couldn't be found locally, so, the call went out.

Finally a Scotsman was located who had a similar blood type.



The Scot willingly donated his blood for the Arab.



After the surgery, the Arab sent the Scotsman as appreciation for giving his blood, a new BMW, diamonds & US dollars.



A couple of days later, once again, the Arab had to go through a corrective surgery. His doctor telephoned the Scotsman who was more than happy to donate his blood again.

After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Scotsman a thank-you card and a box of chocolates.



The Scotsman was shocked that the Arab did not reciprocate his kind gesture as he had anticipated.

He phoned the Arab and asked him:
"I thought you would be generous again, that you would give me a BMW, diamonds & money,
But you only gave me a thank-you card and a box of chocolates."

To this the Arab replied:

"Aye laddie, but I now have Scottish blood in ma veins".

Catholic Coffee morning (with due respect)

Four old Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee in St. Peters Square .




The first Catholic man tells his friends, "My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him
'Father'."



The second Catholic man chirps, "My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him
'Your Grace'."




The third Catholic gent says, "My son is a Cardinal. When he enters a room everyone bows their head and says
'Your Eminence'."




The fourth Catholic man says very proudly, "My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him
'Your Holiness'."



Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, The four men give her a subtle, "Well....?"

She proudly replies,
I have a daughter,




SLIM & TALL



40 D Breasts



24" WAIST and



34" HIPS
http://i448.photobucket.com/albums/qq205...zpsg9svubua.png

When she walks into a room, people say,



“ Jesus Christ"

One of the guys says to his buddy: "Man you look tired.”

His buddy says: “Man I'm exhausted. My girlfriend and I

have sex all the time. She's after me 3 and 4 times a day.

I just don't know what to do."



A fellow about my age (60+), sitting a couple of stools

down, also overheard the conversation.



He looked over at the two young men and with the wisdom of years says:



"Marry her. That'll put a stop to that."

I like the way Richard had to give us a link to a picture of a beautiful woman - just in case we couldn't quite picture the Catholic woman's daughter in our mind

I like what the link shows.

Two nuns sat at traffic lights in their car when a car load of rowdy drunks pulls up alongside.


"Oi, get your tits out you Penguins" shouts one of the drunks

The Mother Superior turns to Sister Immaculata "I don't think they know who we are - show them your cross

So Sister Immaculata winds down her window and shouts "Screw off you little wankers before I come over there and rip your Balls off"

Sister Immaculata looks back at the Mother Superior and asks? "Was that cross enough??"

We are all ageing, things are dimming with time.