Talk Morgan Forums Community The Malvern Arms Tongue in cheek Friday humour

I guess you trumped him...

Bill did this to her a few years back didn't he ?

I suspect that Bill may also have paid to have it done to himself......

'I went to a restaurant that serves breakfast at any time. So I ordered 'French Toast during the Renaissance'.

Peter Kay (July 2 1973-)


'What Iran needs now is a more modern leader – a mullah lite.'

Shappi Khorsandi (June 8 1973-)

"Who discovered we could get milk from cows, and what did he think he was doing at the time?"

Billy Connolly (November 24 1942-)

'A class system is something you use to discriminate against someone who looks like you.'

Reginald D Hunter (March 26 1969-)

Spike Milligan
(1918 - 2002)

Jumbo Jet


I saw a little elephant standing in my garden,
I said 'You don't belong in here', he said 'I beg you pardon?',
I said 'This place is England, what are you doing here?',
He said 'Ah, then I must be lost' and then 'Oh dear, oh dear'.

'I should be back in Africa, on Saranghetti's Plain',
'Pray, where is the nearest station where I can catch a train?'.
He caught the bus to Finchley and then to Mincing lane,
And over the Embankment, where he got lost, again.

The police they put him in a cell, but it was far too small,
So they tied him to a lampost and he slept against the wall.
But as the policemen lay sleeping by the twinkling light of dawn,
The lampost and the wall were there, but the elephant was gone!

So if you see an elephant, in a Jumbo Jet,
You can be sure that Africa's the place he's trying to get

Brilliant, Spike at his best

THIS IS WHY PEOPLE DON'T TRUST SENIOR CITIZENS
The other day I went over to a nearby Pharmacy.
When I got there, I went straight to the back of the Store to where the Pharmacists' Counter is located.
I took out my little brown bottle along with a teaspoon and laid them both onto the counter.
The Pharmacist came over smiled and asked if he could help me.
I said, "Yes! Could you please taste this for me?"
Being I'm a Senior Citizen...I guess the Pharmacist just went along with me.
He picked up the spoon and put a tiny bit of the liquid on his tongue and swilled it around.
Then with a stomach-churning look on his face he spit it out on the floor and began coughing.
When he finally was finished, I looked him right in the eye asked,
"Now, does that taste sweet to you?"
The Pharmacist, shaking his head back and forth with a venomous look in His eyes yelled, "HELL NO!!!"
So I said, "Oh thank God!
That's such a relief! My Doctor told me to get a Pharmacist to test my urine for sugar!"
WELL, I CAN NEVER GO BACK TO THAT PHARMACY, BUT I REALLY DON'T CARE THOUGH, BECAUSE THEY AREN'T VERY FRIENDLY THERE ANYWAY!!!

From a Danish Morgan friend.

Too true on so many levels!

I have got 2 tickets for the final of Euro 2016, but I didn't realise that it's on the same day as my wedding, so I won't be able to attend. If anyone is interested and would like to go instead of me, it's at All Saints Church in Redditch, and the bride's name is Sarah.