I've just received a letter through the post from George Chew, Head of Wealth Management at Bank of Overseas Chinese. A namesake of mine has just passed away with something wrong with his testicles (I think that's what intestate means) and he had nearly $13M invested in a medium-term portfolio run by a goat called Goateng Asset Management. George says my name is so unique (its actually almost as common as Smith) that I must be the hare to Edward's fortune. He wants me to drop him a line so that we can fine-tune something (car maybe) after which my namesake's assets can be released to me. I think George might need paying upfront before I get the money and 2.5% is mentioned. I don't have that amount of money in my piggy bank (remember those - probably not available anymore due piggery, the animal equivalent of wokery) so I think I'll have to pass this opportunity up. Never mind. Don't think I'll write to George either.

Chris