It was only then that I noticed that this battery, a Banner Uni Bull, is unusual in having two positives and two negatives.....Have I missed something or is this the one to go for?
I find this can happen after consuming 3 Pints (1.7048 litres)

That would be three pints of Fuller's ESB. After two, you cannot remember where you live, and after three you cannot remember your name. I never got further than that.