Talk Morgan Forums Community The Malvern Arms Cats on Your Pride & Joy?

This man has a solution...

Clever stuff!

Never been a pussy man .

Will that be the hook to sell the book?

No but this might upset some .Always loved animals dogs ( not the ones that bite ) Horses ( not the ones that kick or bite ) . My theory is its a two way thing like a woman you have to love each other. In the mid 1980s I had a 4st Staffie a gentle giant . I HAD to take him to my parents every evening and the kids in the area would knock on the door " is Champ coming out to play " . He was as happy as a dog with two tails the kids would jump on him and roll him around the grass play football with him. After an hour they would limp back and hand him in , never worked out if the kids thought they where Staffies or the dog thought he was a kid . But in the area was a large wild ginger tomcat people hated including the kids . My parents home had the rear door leading into a small off shot with a tumble dryer , high stand up freezer and fridge . One evening this cat walked into the off shot then the kitchen we where all in the living room with Champ . I heard a noise walked into the kitchen to be confronted by this cat it hissed at me and tensed up. In a split second Champ was out the kat ran into the off shot the dog after it it jumped ontop of the freezer . I tried to tell Champ to back off but this cat had come onto his holy ground so I closed the rear door and the one into the kitchen . For a good while I could hear things been thrown over and squeals but never a bark or a growl after about 15mins ? it fell silent . I slowly opened the door into the kichen to see a smashed freezer on the floor with a fridge on its side . The ceiling covered in blood and cat fur all over the contour ( heavy kitchen wallpaper ) was covered in blood and torn from the walls . It looked like a bomb had dropped . Champ looked up at me his face covered in cats blood and hair just walked past with the attitude job done . Dad had to get him outside to wash him down he stank , I found the remains of the cat strewn across the rear of the freezer . Dont think anyone missed the nasty thing but would rather it vanished another way . I put it in a sack and buried it out of the area. The feeezer was replaced the room decorated and the happy kids thought Champ was a hero and he liked the fuss. Anyone think I dont like kats you are wrong they like you ,in 1991 we called at F-IN -Laws mates house on Yorkshire moors in mog . Stayed the night while sitting on his settee his cat came over and snuggled in under my arm so I stroked it. Syd looked shocked , "my what have you got it never goes to anyone thats a first " it stayed next to me most of the night. I belive animals can tell if you are good and like them.

JTL - blond bimbo magnet, now a cat magnet, and we know your animal attract from women. Must be that Castol R aftershave.

Its all to do with pussy mate you know the saying was nothing to look at but fell out of bed laughing . Or it could be that Durex paint I smell everyday.

Long lost Ginger Tom cat last seen in the Peterlee area.........reward if found.

Please call me # 44 7966 999

Like the use of the country code...did it take its passport?

Excellent video; had me in stitches.