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Wales
by Joske Vermeule, September 1
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Forums39
Topics49,911
Posts838,151
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Jun 14th, 2026
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Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 14,009
Member of the Inner Circle
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OP
Member of the Inner Circle
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 14,009 |
Good Bank Holiday Monday Morning,
50 SHEDS of GREY
The novel “Fifty Shades Of Grey” has seduced women – and baffled blokes.
Now, “ Fifty SHEDS Of Grey ” offers a treat for the men.
The book's author Colin Grey recounts his love encounters at the bottom of the garden ..................... Here are some extracts .... ...
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We tried various positions – round the back, on the side, up against a wall.
But in the end we came to the conclusion the bottom of the garden was the only place for the shed.
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She knelt before me on the shed floor and tugged gently at first, then harder until finally it came.
I moaned with pleasure. ............ Now for the other boot.
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Ever since she read THAT book, I’ve had to buy all kinds of ropes, chains and shackles.
She still manages to get into the shed, though.
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“Put on this rubber suit and mask,” I instructed, calmly.
“Mmmm, kinky!” she purred.
“Yes,” I said, “You can’t be too careful with all that asbestos on the shed roof.”
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“I’m a very naughty girl,” she said, biting her lip. “I need to be punished.”
So I invited my mum to stay for the weekend.
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“Harder!” she cried, gripping the workbench tightly. “Harder!”
“Okay,” I said. “What’s the gross national product of Nicaragua?”
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I lay back exhausted, gazing happily out of the shed window.
Despite my concerns about my inexperience, my rhubarb had come up a treat.
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“Are you sure you can take the pain?” she demanded, brandishing stilettos.
“I think so,” I gulped.
“Here we go, then,” she said, and showed me the receipt.
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“Hurt me!” she begged, raising her skirt as she bent over my workbench.
“Very well,” I replied. “You’ve got fat ankles and no dress sense.”
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“Are you sure you want this?” I asked.
“When I’m done, you won’t be able to sit down for weeks.”
She nodded.
“Okay,” I said, putting the three-piece lounge furniture on eBay.
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“Punish me!” she cried. “Make me suffer like only a real man can!”
“Very well,” I replied, leaving the toilet seat up.
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In and out . . . . in and out . . . .
A little to the right . . . . a little to the left . . . .
She could feel the sweat on her forehead . . . .
and between her breasts . . . . and trickling down the small of her back .
. . .
She was getting near to the end . . . .
He was in ecstasy . . . . with a huge smile on his face as his wife moved . . . .
Forwards then backwards . . . .
Forward s then backward s . . . .
Again . . . . and, again . . . .
Her heart was pounding now . . . .
Her face was flushed . . . .
She moaned . . . . softly at first, then began to groan louder . . . ..
Finally . . . . totally exhausted . . . . she let out a piercing scream . . . .
She shouted . . . . :
"OK, OK, you smug ba s tard ...... I can't parallel park . . . .You do it "
Jays
Former Morgan owner. Gone but hopefully not forgotten!
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Joined: May 2011
Posts: 4,896
Drive on the Wild Side Part of the Furniture
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Drive on the Wild Side Part of the Furniture
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 4,896 |
Adrian
Buggered Off, to a modern none leaky car, heart's still ticking
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Joined: Mar 2015
Posts: 32
Just Getting Started
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Just Getting Started
Joined: Mar 2015
Posts: 32 |
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Joined: Aug 2013
Posts: 5,210
Charter Member
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Charter Member
Joined: Aug 2013
Posts: 5,210 |
Brilliant! 
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Joined: Jul 2009
Posts: 1,127
Has a lot to Say!
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Has a lot to Say!
Joined: Jul 2009
Posts: 1,127 |
breathtakingly brilliant - when will i be able to stop laughing....?!
It doesn´t matter how fast it becomes, but how it becomes fast.   2015 Roadster 3.7
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Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 76
Just Getting Started
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Just Getting Started
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 76 |
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Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 1,569 Likes: 12
Talk Morgan Enthusiast
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Talk Morgan Enthusiast
Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 1,569 Likes: 12 |
Superb! I did literally LOL
Steve L.
1996 Plus 8
N22 MOG
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Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 347
Learner Plates Off!
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Learner Plates Off!
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 347 |
Excellent - we all laughed
John
2014 +4, Le Mans Blue / Magnolia
"Meg" the Mog
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Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 2,125 Likes: 37
Talk Morgan Expert
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Talk Morgan Expert
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 2,125 Likes: 37 |
Wonderful stuff - you can always rely on someone to take the p*** 
Regards
Alan
AP08 MOG
2016 Plus 4 GDi - Mazda Soul Red Metallic
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 14,976 Likes: 2
Member of the Inner Circle
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Member of the Inner Circle
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 14,976 Likes: 2 |
Richard
1976 4/4 4 Seater
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