Talk Morgan Forums Community The Malvern Arms Tongue in cheek Monday humour

Love the cat wash joke. I cannot imagine the little furry thing ever coming back in the house after that. However I won't tell that one to the good lady. Might get one of those little looks.

Urban myth?

Origin of the term " bungalow"......
A chap was having a place built. He was tight on cash. First floor was built.
He told the builder....
"I am short of cash so bung a low roof on it".


As an aside, we had a chap play second row in our team. His nickname was bungalow. Not very bright.
He didn't have anything "upstairs"

As Christmas is nearly on us.......

A man was arrested leaving a store with a Christmas cake and mince pies.
He was arrested for handling stollen property

They say that during sex you burn off as many calories as running 8 miles.
Who the hell runs 8 miles in 30 seconds .


A man is walking down the street, when he notices that his grandfather is sitting on a porch in a rocking chair, with nothing on from the waist down. "Grandad, what are you doing?" the man exclaims. The old man looks off into the distance and does not answer his grandson. Grandad , " what are you doing sitting out here with nothing on below the waist?" he asks again.
The old man slyly looks at him and says, "Well last week I sat out here with no shirt on, and got a stiff neck
this was your grandmothers idea ".

What is blue and isn’t heavy?












Light blue.

It is estimated that it will take 4 years to renovate Big Ben.
I bet they will be working round the clock to do it.


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The Magnificent Seven were booked to do an advert for aftershave based in Liverpool.
Only 6 turned up
Apparently Yul never wore cologne



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Are small people from Gibralter called giblets.
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Enough for now......

is watching recordings of X-Factor/Strictly.....
I am bored so here’s another.........

Have you had to walk 500 miles?

Were you advised to walk 500 more?

You could be entitled for compensation.

Call, "The Pro Claimers" now.



Car related....
My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the bonnet of her Honda Civic.

But if I'm going to have sex, it's going to be on my own Accord.

The Wisdom of AGE !

Lying around, pondering the problems of the world, I realized that, at my age, I don't really give a rat's ass anymore.

If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal.

A whale swims all day, only eats fish, and drinks water, but is still fat.

A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years, while a tortoise doesn't run and does mostly nothing, yet it lives for 150 years and they tell us to exercise? I don't think so.

Now that I'am older, here's what I have discovered:

1. I started out with nothing, and still have most of it.

2. My wild oats are mostly enjoyed with prunes and all-bran.

3. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

4. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

5. If all is not lost, then where the heck is it?.

6. It was a whole lot easier to get older than it was to get wiser.

7. Some days, you're the top dog, some days you're the hydrant.

8. I wish the buck did really stop here; I sure could use a few of them.

9. Kids in the back seats cause accidents.

10. Accidents in the back seats cause kids.

11. It is hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.

12. The world only beats a path to your door when you're in the loo.

13. If Mother nature wanted me to touch my toes, she'd have put them on my knees .

14. When I'm finally holding all the right cards, everyone wants to play chess.

15. It is not hard to meet expenses... They're everywhere.

16. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

17. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter.. I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I'm "here after".

18. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

19. It is a lot better to be seen than viewed.

20. Have I sent this message to you before... or did I get it from you?.