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Aug 24th, 2023
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Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 8,014
Posting Desperado Talk Morgan Guru
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Posting Desperado Talk Morgan Guru
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 8,014 |
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Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 7,058 Likes: 20
Talk Morgan Guru
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Talk Morgan Guru
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 7,058 Likes: 20 |
Very good  nice one Ross...
A Morgan Identified Fastidious Owner...
2011 4/4 Bespoke, 1981 Delorean, Auburn Boat Tail
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Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 8,014
Posting Desperado Talk Morgan Guru
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Posting Desperado Talk Morgan Guru
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 8,014 |
Breaking news .
The FDA just approved a new drug for people
who are easily offended or can't take a joke ?
Growacet TM
(testicular fortitude ) Capsules.
Each capsules contains testicular fortitude
equivalent to one testicle
2 Capsules Rx only.
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Joined: May 2010
Posts: 9,285 Likes: 69
Needs to Get Out More!
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Needs to Get Out More!
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 9,285 Likes: 69 |
What did the pirate say on becoming an octagenarian?
Aye, matey
Plus Four MY23 Furka Rouge
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Joined: May 2010
Posts: 9,285 Likes: 69
Needs to Get Out More!
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Needs to Get Out More!
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 9,285 Likes: 69 |
I was in a cafe today. I ordered a cup of tea.
A row broke out between two waitresses who were arguing about how long to leave the teabag inthe cup. It escalated to violence.
I asked the manager what had happened.
He replied....it’s been brewing.
Plus Four MY23 Furka Rouge
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Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 6,827 Likes: 59
Talk Morgan Sage
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Talk Morgan Sage
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 6,827 Likes: 59 |
My brother Bill's a fireman bold,
He pits oot fires.
He's only 22 years old,
He pits oot fires.
He went tae a fire one night
Someone shouted dynamite,
Wherever he is, he'll be all right,
He pits oot fires.
To the tune of "There is a happy land"
Best Regards
Lang may yer lum reek
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Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 11,610 Likes: 43
Wave & smile... It's a Morgan Member of the Inner Circle
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Wave & smile... It's a Morgan Member of the Inner Circle
Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 11,610 Likes: 43 |
An HR manager was knocked down (tragically) by a bus and was killed. Her soul arrived at the Pearly Gates, where St.Peter welcomed her. “Before you get settled in” he said, “We have a little problem…you see, we’ve never had a HR manager make it this far before and we’re not really sure what to do with you.”
“Oh, I see,” said the woman, “can’t you just let me in?”
“Well, I’d like to,” said St Peter, “But I have higher orders. We’re instructed to let you have a day in hell and a day in heaven, and then you are to choose where you’d like to go for all eternity.”
“Actually, I think I’d prefer heaven”, said the woman. “Sorry, we have rules…” at which St. Peter put the HR manager into the downward bound elevator.
As the doors opened in Hell she stepped out onto a beautiful golf course. In the distance was a country club; around her were many friends, past fellow executives, all smartly dressed, happy, and cheering for her. They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks, and they talked about old times.
They played a perfect round of golf and afterwards went to the country club where she enjoyed a superb steak and lobster dinner. She met the Devil (who was actually rather nice) and she had a wonderful night telling jokes and dancing.
Before she knew it, it was time to leave. Everyone shook her hand and waved goodbye as she stepped into the elevator. The elevator went back up to heaven where St. Peter was waiting for her. “Now it’s time to spend a day in heaven,” he said.
So she spent the next 24 hours lounging around on clouds, playing the harp and singing; which was almost as enjoyable as her day in Hell. At the day’s end St. Peter returned. “So,” he said, “You’ve spent a day in hell and you’ve spent a day in heaven”. “You must choose between the two.”
The woman thought for a second and replied: “Well, heaven is certainly lovely, but I actually had a better time in hell. I choose Hell.”
Accordingly, St. Peter took her to the elevator again and she went back down to hell. When the doors of the elevator opened she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw her friends dressed in rags, picking up rubbish and putting it in old sacks. The Devil approached and put his arm around her.
“I don’t understand,” stuttered the HR manager, “The other day I was here, and there was a golf course, and a country club. We ate lobster, and we danced and had a wonderful happy time. Now all there is, is just dirty wasteland of garbage and all my friends look miserable.”
The Devil simply looked at her and smiled, “Yesterday we were recruiting you, today you’re staff.”
2008 XXVII Platform, Bugatti Blue Roadster 4 Seater
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Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 8,014
Posting Desperado Talk Morgan Guru
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Posting Desperado Talk Morgan Guru
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 8,014 |
As I have grown older,
I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible.
But pissing everyone off,
is a piece cake.
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Joined: Aug 2013
Posts: 15,794 Likes: 14
Formerly known as Aldermog Member of the Inner Circle
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Formerly known as Aldermog Member of the Inner Circle
Joined: Aug 2013
Posts: 15,794 Likes: 14 |
As I have grown older,
I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible.
But pissing everyone off,
is a piece cake. Oh how true!! And how enjoyable 
Peter,
66, 2016 Porsche Boxster S
No longer driving Tarka, the 2014 Plus 8...
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Joined: May 2010
Posts: 9,285 Likes: 69
Needs to Get Out More!
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Needs to Get Out More!
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 9,285 Likes: 69 |
Found on Twitter...... https://t.co/YADQJmdIfoDrat....sound notworking grrrr
Last edited by sospan; 04/02/19 09:13 PM.
Plus Four MY23 Furka Rouge
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