Talk Morgan Forums Community The Malvern Arms Tongue in cheek Monday humour

I thought Morgan electrics were based on the work of Faraday?

Unfortunately they chose Fred Faraday a Farm labourer from Scunthorpe......

BR
Colin

No matter what this husband did in bed, his wife never achieved an orgasm. They decide to get some advice from a counsellor.

The Counsellor listens to their story, strokes his beard, and makes the following suggestion: Hire a strapping young man.

While the two of you are making love, have the young man wave a towel over you.

That will help your wife fantasize and should bring on an orgasm.' They go home and follow the counsellor’s advice.

They hire a handsome young man and he waves a towel over them as they make love. It does not help and the wife is still unsatisfied. Perplexed, they go back to the counsellor. 'Okay,' he says to the husband, 'Try it reversed.

Have the young man make love to your wife and you wave the towel over them'. Once again, they follow the counsellor’s advice. They go home and hire, the same strapping young man.

The young man gets into bed with the wife and the husband waves the towel.

The young man gets to work with great enthusiasm and soon she has an enormous, room-shaking, ear-splitting screaming orgasm. The husband smiles, looks at the young man and says to him triumphantly, 'You see that, you schmuck? THAT'S how you wave a towel!!'

A bloke on the train showed me a picture of his wife, and asked if i thought she was sexy.

I said: “If you think she’s beautiful you should see my mate’s wife.”

“Is she a stunner?” he asked.

“No she’s an optician,” I replied.

Both very nice, Neptune.

I'm starting a protest tomorrow

Fat Lives Matter!!

Meeting at McDonald's at 10,

KFC at 11

then Greggs at 12.

Who's with me. 🍔🍟

I had some friends who were twins who's behaviour when young was hilariously scandalous ....so this made me smile.



K

I'd like to make your "Fat Lives Matter" protest Richard but I can't make it until 3pm. How about meeting in Hotel chocolat?

That sounds like a good way to round the day off John, I'll look forward to it..

Pinched from another forum:
> Best Caddy Comments

> Number: 10
> Golfer: "I think I'm going to drown myself in the lake."
> Caddie: "Do you think you can keep your head down that long, sir?"
>
> Number: 9
> Golfer: "I'd move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course."
> Caddie: "Try heaven sir, you've already moved most of the earth."
>
> Number: 8
> Golfer: "Do you think my game is improving?"
> Caddie: "Yes sir.... You miss the ball much closer now."
>
> Number: 7
> Golfer: "Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?"
> Caddie: "Eventually, sir."
>
> Number: 6
> Golfer: "You've got to be the worst caddy in the world."
> Caddie: "I don't think so sir... That would be too much of a coincidence."
>
> Number: 5
> Golfer: "Please stop checking your watch all the time. It's too much of a distraction."
> Caddie: "It's not a watch sir - it's a compass."
>
> Number: 4
> Golfer: "How do you like my game?"
> Caddie: "It's very good sir - but personally, I prefer golf."
>
> Number: 3
> Golfer: "Do you think it's a sin to play on Sunday?
> Caddie: "I'm afraid the way you play sir, it's a sin on any day."
>
> Number: 2
> Golfer: "This is the worst course I've ever played on."
> Caddie: "But this isn't the golf course... We left that an hour ago sir."
>
> And the Number: 1 Best Caddy Comment:
> Golfer: "That can't be my ball, it's too old."
> Caddie: "It's been a long time since we teed off, sir."

Some nice ones there Graham.

My favourite is

Golfer: "I think my problem might be that I'm standing too close to the ball when I hit it."
Caddie: "I think your problem might be that you're standing too close to the ball after you've hit it, sir."