Talk Morgan Forums Community The Malvern Arms Monday Smiles

From a friend in Canada:

St Peter is spot on.... there should be a special corner of Hell for Classic Car Abusers.

An old pilot was sitting in a bar when a girl sits next to him and asks “I hear you were a pilot, tell me about it”. The guy replies “yes, I was. I was a pilot most of my working life. Started flying jets in the Air Force in the fifties in Korea, flew four tours in Vietnam and retired from Phantoms and went and finished up flying 747s for American. Crashed a few times and ejected twice”. He paused, looked at the woman and asked “but tell me young lady, what do you do?”
“I’m a lesbian” said the girl “I wake up every morning thinking of naked women. I head out to work and whenever I see a good looking woman, I think about what it would be like to undress her and make passionate love to her. And when I get home, I curl up dreaming of beautiful, naked women”. And with that, she wandered off leaving the old pilot thinking deeply.
A few minutes later, a young man sits down next to the pilot and asks him “were you a pilot?”
After a moment, the old man replied “well until I talked to that young lady over there, I was sure that I’m a pilot. But now I know I’m not………..I’ve realised I’m a lesbian.

An oldie but a goodie Sportster

I can identify with that old pilot...

Teachers asks her class “Can anyone tell me the name of Robin Hood’s girlfriend?”

Little Johnny says “Yes miss, it’s Trudy Glen”

“No Johnny, the answer was Maid Marion”

“But miss, what about the song, Robin Hood, Robin Hood, riding Trudy Glen!”

DISTINCTION BETWEEN GUTS AND BALLS

To those of you who are nit-pickers about the meaning of words; there is a medical distinction between Guts and Balls. We’ve all heard about people having Guts or Balls, but do you really know the difference between them?

In an effort to keep you informed, here are the definitions:

GUTS – is arriving home late, after a night out with the boys, being met by your wife in the hall with a broom, and having the GUTS to ask, “are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?”

BALLS – is coming home late, after a night out with the boys, smelling of perfume and beer, with lipstick on your collar, being met by your wife in the hall, and slapping her on the arse and having the BALLS to say “you’re next, Chubby”

I hope this clears up any confusion on definitions.

Medically speaking there is no difference in the outcome. Both result in a long stay in hospital.