Talk Morgan Forums Community The Malvern Arms Just a smile.

So meanwhile again another 30 years left, time is flying.

One of our local farmers at play 😎

I spent my mud life crisis digging out foundations and drainage trenches for my self-build home extensions and landscaping processes over a few decades, I think I enjoyed driving Landies a tad more... (-:

Gotta get one ...

The wife has been missing for a week now. The Police said to prepare for the worst, so I went back to the charity shop to get all her clothes back!

I woke up last night to find the ghost of Gloria Gaynor standing at the foot of my bed. At first I was afraid.......then I was petrified.

I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but generally come back as a different creature. She said 'Well I would like to come back as a cow'. I said ‘you're obviously not listening’.

The last person to enter parliament with an honest intention was Guy Fawkes

Fred drowned. So at the funeral we got him a wreath in the shape of a lifebelt. Well, it's what he would have wanted

As a kid I was made to walk the plank. We couldn't afford a dog
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

A farmer asked me to round up 68 sheep today, so I said that’s easy 70

When I was young my parents used to say to me: ‘To pay for your education, your father & I had to make a lot of sacrifices’. And it was true, ’cause they were both druids.

I don’t know about you, but I really hate sitting in traffic. ’Cause I always get run over.

If you’re being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then onto a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire….They train for that.

The school had a big problem with drugs…especially Class A.

As a child I watched Mary Poppins so many times I suffered from a condition with my sight….Umdiddleiddleiddleumdiddle Eye.

When my grandfather became ill, my grandmother greased his back. After that, he went downhill very quickly.

My mother made us eat all sorts of vitamins and supplements, until one day I nearly choked on part of The Sunday Times

Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. Well, for example, the other day Mary my wife and I went into town and visited a shop. When we came out , there was a copper writing out a parking ticket. We went up to him and said, “come on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break ?” He ignored us and continued writing out the ticket.I called him an “asshole”. He glared at us and started writing out another ticket for the car having worn out tyres. So Mary called him a “dick head”. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing out more tickets. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote. Just then our bus arrived, and we got on it and went home. We try to have a little fun each day now that we’re retired, it’s important at our age.

Me ... help Doctor, my mate's got a Quality Street chocolate stuck in his throat!

Dr ... the purple one?

Me ... yes, that's him!


🙂

K

I’ll just park this one here 😎

Maybe this helps.. or this Ken Loach groundbreaker

[video:youtube][/video]

It seems my definition of a Brazilian maybe not quite right !!

Dunno, all I see is: [Linked Image]