Talk Morgan Forums Community The Malvern Arms Just a smile.

Trump not getting far with the Iranians but he does a fantastic ‘Flock of Seagulls’ rendition.

HAVE YOU GOT SEX INSURANCE?

You can now get sex insurance in the UK from many different company’s. To help you get the correct insurance for sex youre having please consult the list below.

Sex with your wife – Legal and General

Sex on the telephone – Direct Line

Sex with your partner – Standard Life

Sex with someone different – Go Compare

Sex with a lady of generous proportions – More Than

Sex on the back seat of a car – Sheila’s Wheels

Sex with a prostitute – Commercial Union

Sex with your maid – Employers Liability

Sex with an OAP – Saga

Sex resulting in pregnancy – General Accident

John Travolta tested negative for coronavirus last night. Turns out it was just Saturday night fever.

The World Health Organization has announced that dogs cannot contract Covid-19. Dogs previously held in quarantine can now be released. To be clear, WHO let the dogs out.

I saw an ad for burial plots, and thought to myself “That's the last thing I need."

Intelligence is like underwear. It is important that you have it, but not necessary that you show it off.

Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?

A courtroom artist was arrested today for an unknown reason... details are sketchy.

People are making end of the world jokes like there's no tomorrow.

Whatever you do, always give 100%--unless you're donating blood.

What do you call a sleepwalking nun? A roamin’ Catholic.

What did Snow White say when she came out of the photo booth? Someday my prints will come.

A girl said she recognized me from her vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.

Dad, are we pyromaniacs? Yes, we arson.

I've always had an irrational fear of speed bumps but I'm slowly getting over it.

What word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it? Short.

I've finally told my suitcases there will be no holiday this year. Now I'm dealing with the emotional baggage.

If you're not supposed to eat at night, why is there a light bulb in the refrigerator?

Don't let your worries get the best of you; remember, Moses started out as a basket case.

Anybody got a spare VHS device ?

Since you asked...



I've been using them for a trip down Memorex lane, but I can spare you one before your call-up!

Thanks Ian, I'm going to save the country a few quid by using my bus pass to get there.

Would an 'as new' Betamax suffice ?