I am/was also a mechanical numpty and I am sure if I can do it, you can too
I bought the Halfords axel stands and their slightly bigger trolley jack as their small cheap one didn't lift the car high enough for the stands
To get the fronts off
Chocks under rear wheels, in gear, handbrake on, level surface, trolley Jack under front cross member centrally, pump up carefully allowing the trolley Jack to slide back as it lifts, don't put your head under until you have both axel stands under each side under the cross member near the wheel
Take the Jack out
Undo the spinners - I use a hammer with a block of wood on the spinners
Pull the wheel carefully off making sure you don't drop it on your foot
The grime will be probably caked on the inside rims I get some oven cleaner, scourer and water, but go carefully not to scratch through the wheel coating
Give the wheels a good clean with soft brushes and plenty of water
Perhaps spray with silicone spray so that they will be easier to clean next time or there is a wheel protector spray that Autoglym make that helps protect from future dirt
Give the threaded wheel boss a good clean and degrease and then regrease, put the wheel back on making sure it is pushed on fully and then put the spinner back on so it is hand tight then give it a good couple of hits with the hammer on the wood block to tighten
When lifting the rear just make sure that the trolley Jack and the axel stands go under the steel chassis cross member and not on the wood and use a soft wood block on top of the axel stands so they don't damage the flat cross member
It is really straight forward but a bit scary when using the trolley Jack for the first time as it seems really high
