i hope this doesn't offend anyone. if it does please remove it
it did make me lol
>Billy Connolly's take on the terrorists hitting Glasgow...
>
>"Good old Glasgow. If I had to pick a city in the world where I could
>depend on one of the locals to kick a man who was on fire, it would
>always be Glasgow. That really had to hurt - 90% burns and sore
>bollocks...
>
>I think we should get a photo of that guy KICKING A FLAMING MAN, blow
>it up and make it the welcome sign at Glasgow Airport. Underneath we
>should have the words 'Glasgow Welcomes Careful Drivers'...
>
>I love the naivety of al-Qaeda. For trying to bring a religious war to
>Glasgow. You're 400 years too late guys!! You've not even got a
>Football Team for Christ's sake... I think that we should give Partick
>Thistle to al-Qaeda. If only for the joy of hearing them read out their
>team sheet on Saturday...
>
>The Sun last week urged us all to respond to the attack by flying the
>Union Jack. Really, in Glasgow that's never been a great way of getting
>your insurance premiums down...
>
>If we play this whole terrorism thing right, we could get al-Qaeda to
>blow up some of Scotland's eyesores. I think we should definitely start
>putting signs up round Shettleston's high flats that say 'Financial
>Quarter'...
>
>People say it was lucky they didn't crash into a fuel container. I say
>it's lucky they didn't hit the queue coming out of Duty Free - the
>whole place would have gone up like Hiroshima...
>
>The best bit is being told that hundreds of people were saved from
>being hideously burnt...these were Scottish people flying to Spain!
>They'll come back looking like they've been bungee jumping off the lip
>of a volcano!"
