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Forums34
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Aug 24th, 2023
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Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 8,646
Needs to Get Out More!
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Needs to Get Out More!
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 8,646 |
As it's that time of year.....
What do you call someone who's afraid of Father Christmas ?
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Santaclaustrophobic
Giles. Mogless in Paris.
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Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 35,773 Likes: 468
Tricky Dicky Member of the Inner Circle
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OP
Tricky Dicky Member of the Inner Circle
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 35,773 Likes: 468 |
Giles talking about fear of confined spaces here is one I prepared earlier  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dYslhL71k1M
Last edited by 4/4sportsfun; 11/12/12 09:54 PM.
2009 4/4 Henrietta
1999 Indigo Blue +8
2009 4/4 Sport Green prev
1993 Connaught Green +8 prev
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,647
Talk Morgan Enthusiast
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Talk Morgan Enthusiast
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,647 |
A Yorkshire treat
A Yorkshireman and his wife walked past a swanky new restaurant last night...
"Did you smell that food?" she asked... "Wonderful!"
Being the 'Kind Hearted Yorkshireman', he thought,
"What the heck, I'll treat her!"
******************************
AND
... So they walked past it again...
Jaguar F-Type V6s roadster
2009 Harley Davidson XR1200
1986 Honda VFR750F (RC24)
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Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 209
OXR 5 L - Learner Plates On
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OXR 5 L - Learner Plates On
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 209 |
Tony Blair is sitting in a barber shop having a haircut, when in walks David Cameron who sits in the next chair. They studiously ignore each other whilst having haircuts and shaves, Tony is finished first and his barber asks if he would like some after-shave applied, he throws his hands up in horror and sez "oh no way, Cherie will say I smell like a brothel"
Dave's barber asks him if he would like after-shave, "yes sez Dave as much as you like, Samantha wouldn't know what a brothel smells like"
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Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 4,491 Likes: 65
Part of the Furniture
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Part of the Furniture
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 4,491 Likes: 65 |
2021 Lapis Blue Plus 6  You know it makes sense!  2016 Carmine Red 991.2 C4S
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Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 209
OXR 5 L - Learner Plates On
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OXR 5 L - Learner Plates On
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 209 |
An executive was in a quandry. He had to get rid of one of his staff. He had narrowed it down to one of two people, Debra or Jack. It would be a hard decision to make, as they were both equally qualified and both did excellent work. He finally decided that in the morning whichever one used the water cooler first would have to go. Debra came in the next morning, hugely hung-over after partying all night. She went to the cooler to get some water to take an aspirin and the executive approached her and said:
"Debra, I've never done this before, but I have to lay you or Jack off."
Debra replied, "Could you jack off, I have a terrible headache."
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Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 209
OXR 5 L - Learner Plates On
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OXR 5 L - Learner Plates On
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 209 |
It all makes sense now.
Gay marriage and marijuana to be legalised on the same day.
Leviticus 20..13
"If a man lays with another man he shall be stoned"
We have just been misinterpreting it all these years.
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Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 209
OXR 5 L - Learner Plates On
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OXR 5 L - Learner Plates On
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 209 |
Golf on Christmas Day
Four old timers were playing their weekly game of golf, one remarked how nice it would be to wake up on Christmas morning, roll out of bed and without an argument go directly to the golf course, meet his buddies and play a round.
His buddies all chimed in said, "Let's do it! We'll make it a priority; figure out a way and meet here early, Christmas morning."
Months later, that special morning arrives, and there they are on the golf course. The first guy says, "Boy this game cost me a fortune! I bought my wife a diamond ring that she can't take her eyes off it."
The second guy says, "I spent a ton too. My wife is at home planning the cruise I gave her. She was up to her eyeballs in brochures."
The third guy says "Well my wife is at home admiring her new car, reading the manual."
They all turned to the last guy in the group who is staring at them like they have lost their minds.
"I can't believe you all went to such expense for this golf game. I slapped my wife on the butt and said, ‘Well babe, Merry Christmas! It's a great morning -- intercourse or golf course --'
She said, “Don’t forget your jacket.”
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Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 477
Learner Plates Off!
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Learner Plates Off!
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 477 |
I haven't laughed out loud for ages. What a brilliant clip! Thanks.
Dave
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Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 190
L - Learner Plates On
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L - Learner Plates On
Joined: Mar 2012
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The wife asked me what I was doing on the computer last night.
I told her I was looking for cheap flights.
"Love you!" she said, and then she got all excited,
She quickly undressed and we had the most amazing sex ever....
Which is odd because she's never been interested in darts before?
No Morgan yet...
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