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Forums34
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Most Online1,046
Aug 24th, 2023
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Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 4,564
NGUNS!! Part of the Furniture
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NGUNS!! Part of the Furniture
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 4,564 |
 Thankfully Guildford is/was a little less 'cosmopolitan' 
Cheers
BtG
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Joined: May 2007
Posts: 4,607 Likes: 14
Part of the Furniture
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Part of the Furniture
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 4,607 Likes: 14 |
Thankfully Guildford is/was a little less 'cosmopolitan' Clearly Guildford is no longer the lively place it was in my youth. 
Steve A11OGE Red 1989 4/4 4 seater
'A Morgan is for life, not just for Sundays'
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Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 1,242
Has a lot to Say!
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Has a lot to Say!
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 1,242 |
I really didn't want to believe that my son was stealing from his job as a road mender. But when I got home all the signs were there. . . . . . . . . 
Graham
Waking up is a good start to the day !!
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Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 1,242
Has a lot to Say!
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Has a lot to Say!
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 1,242 |
I had a nightmare last night that the ghost of Gloria Gaynor was standing at the foot of my bed. First I was afraid, then I was petrified.... 
Graham
Waking up is a good start to the day !!
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Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 1,242
Has a lot to Say!
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Has a lot to Say!
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 1,242 |
WOMAN'S DIARY
22 Sept 2012 Saturday
Saw him in the evening and he was acting really strangely.
I'd been shopping in the afternoon with the girls
and was a bit late meeting him, thought it might be that.
The bar was really crowded and loud,
so I suggested we go somewhere quieter to talk.
He was still very subdued and distracted
so I suggested we went somewhere nice to eat.
All through dinner he just didn't seem himself
- he hardly laughed and didn't seem to be
paying any attention to me or to what I was saying,
I just knew that something was wrong.
He dropped me back home and I wondered
if he was going to come in,
He hesitated but followed.
I asked him what was wrong,
but he just half shook his head and turned the television on.
After about ten minutes of silence I said that I was going upstairs to bed,
I put my arms around him and told him that I loved him deeply,
He just gave a sigh and a sad sort of smile.
He didn't follow me up immediately but came up later and,
to my surprise, we made love
- but he still seemed distant and a bit cold.
I cried myself to sleep -
I think he's planning to leave me -
maybe he's found someone else.
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MAN'S DIARY:
Saturday 22 Sept
Wigan lost, again.
Gutted.
Got a shag though.
Graham
Waking up is a good start to the day !!
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Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 35,774 Likes: 468
Tricky Dicky Member of the Inner Circle
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OP
Tricky Dicky Member of the Inner Circle
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 35,774 Likes: 468 |
Often wondered why some of them keep a diary - now I know something to fill up with cr4p. Hasten to add none of my females do - wife or daughters normally too busy doing it and no time to write about it whatever that might be  This made me laugh proper like Graham.
2009 4/4 Henrietta
1999 Indigo Blue +8
2009 4/4 Sport Green prev
1993 Connaught Green +8 prev
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Joined: May 2007
Posts: 4,607 Likes: 14
Part of the Furniture
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Part of the Furniture
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 4,607 Likes: 14 |
 WOMAN'S DIARY
22 Sept 2012 Saturday
Saw him in the evening and he was acting really strangely.
I'd been shopping in the afternoon with the girls
and was a bit late meeting him, thought it might be that.
The bar was really crowded and loud,
so I suggested we go somewhere quieter to talk.
He was still very subdued and distracted
so I suggested we went somewhere nice to eat.
All through dinner he just didn't seem himself
- he hardly laughed and didn't seem to be
paying any attention to me or to what I was saying,
I just knew that something was wrong.
He dropped me back home and I wondered
if he was going to come in,
He hesitated but followed.
I asked him what was wrong,
but he just half shook his head and turned the television on.
After about ten minutes of silence I said that I was going upstairs to bed,
I put my arms around him and told him that I loved him deeply,
He just gave a sigh and a sad sort of smile.
He didn't follow me up immediately but came up later and,
to my surprise, we made love
- but he still seemed distant and a bit cold.
I cried myself to sleep -
I think he's planning to leave me -
maybe he's found someone else.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
MAN'S DIARY:
Saturday 22 Sept
Wigan lost, again.
Gutted.
Got a shag though.
Steve A11OGE Red 1989 4/4 4 seater
'A Morgan is for life, not just for Sundays'
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Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 35,774 Likes: 468
Tricky Dicky Member of the Inner Circle
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OP
Tricky Dicky Member of the Inner Circle
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 35,774 Likes: 468 |
Sent by my Son's South African girlfriend to me, I'm pretty deaf and wear a couple of "plastic ears"  
2009 4/4 Henrietta
1999 Indigo Blue +8
2009 4/4 Sport Green prev
1993 Connaught Green +8 prev
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Joined: May 2007
Posts: 4,607 Likes: 14
Part of the Furniture
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Part of the Furniture
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 4,607 Likes: 14 |
The Ann Summers Fatality.
A man walks into Ann Summers to purchase some see-through lingerie for his wife.
He is shown several possibilities that range from £50 to £150 in price, the more see-through, the higher the price. He opts for the sheerest item, pays the £150 and takes the lingerie home.
He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs put it on and model it for him
Upstairs the wife thinks 'I have an idea.
It's so see-through that it might as well be nothing.
I won't put it on - do the modelling naked, return it tomorrow and get a £150 refund and keep the money for myself'.
So she appears naked at the top of the stairs and strikes a pose.
The husband says 'Stone me, it wasn't that creased in the shop'.
His funeral is this Thursday
Steve A11OGE Red 1989 4/4 4 seater
'A Morgan is for life, not just for Sundays'
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Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 26,748 Likes: 419
Member of the Inner Circle
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Member of the Inner Circle
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 26,748 Likes: 419 |
My wife works as a nurse in the unit where they stick tubes where the sun don't shine. I have sent her the colonectomy joke.
Don't think I'll risk the lingeree one
JohnV6
2022 CX Plus Four
2025 MG ZS EV aka Trigger
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