Life should be in the "now" I say this because of a conversation I had with an old guy in a pub in Ilfracombe many years ago whilst waiting for some friends to turn up.
He sat alone in a chair next to the fire so I asked could I join him and we struck a conversation you know just general chat.
From his voice he sounded local and I said have you lived hear all your life ? He replied "No not yet"
I can't remember where I first heard this, but the saying
Today is the first day of the rest of your life.
Apprantly the saying comes from Alcoholics Anonymous, and is/was used at some meetings (fortunately I have no experience of this, good luck to anyone who has).
A lot can be read into this saying, and its a quite a good little daily mantra, if you are into that sort of thing.
Another 'truism' or 'platitude' is 'Remember, There Is Always Someone Worse off Than You'. Now there is some poor bugger, at the bottom of the pile of 7/8 billion people who this is not true for, my heart goes out to whoever that soul is.... But for the rest of us, whatever our situation there is always someone worse off. I've got a more than a few friends who use wheelchairs,and have met many more through my wifes work with paralympic tennis. I've never heard one of them complain about been in a chair, the closet was at an award ceremony at stoke manaville hospital a few years back. One of the younger guys complained that his feet were cold (the awards were held in the sports hall, no heating..), another quipped back "at least you can feel your feet".
So what am I saying? Basically life is too short to hold grudges, waste time complaining and wish for what was not. Or course I am quilty of these things, but I do find having a positive outlook does help!
One of the reasons I like this forum, is that there is a generally good 'vibe' (I hate that word) going on, and there is a good sense of community. Anyway its late and I am gibbering on!
Hope this makes some sense, and excuse the spelling mistakes!
I have hesitated from getting in this debate as I am fortunate to have had no direct experience of what has been discussed.
My wife and I have had other trials, around our children, either being born too early to survive, or born premature. In the case of Tom it made us stronger and more determined, with Natalie and William modern medicine is simply amazing. I am in amazement as not just what can be done but how the doctors and nurses do it....
Equally amazing is the people we have shared our experiences with is how common it is. Sometime we feel "why me" and alone, when in reality it is more that people don't talk and share expereinces....
Around the time my sister passed away, my employers gave people the opportunity to buy extra days leave. I buy every one - there's still so much to see / do (and ) and I want to do it while I can.
Too many times I hear / read / have known people who had great plans for travels and other things once they retired, but they never made it to retirement. Another reason I want to retire early - hopefully the voluntary redundancies continue for another couple of years - I might be able to afford it after 15 years here...
Cheers,
Graham (G4FUJ)
Sold L44FOR 4/4 Giallo Fly '11 MINI Countryman Cooper D All4 '90 LR 90 SW
I resisted posting this on Boshly's thread but I think it is appropriate on here. It is certainly on my list of Desert Island Disks. For those of you who are not aware of it, the lyrics are taken from an article titled "Advice, like youth, probably just wasted on the young" written by Mary Schmich and published in the Chicago Tribune as a column in 1997.
Maybe we should adopt a charity such as MacMillan for our group cause. The main change that they emphasis about our lifetimes is that now (with their help) we're LIVING with cancer.
The TV ad is quite good. Certainly helped a lot where my Sister was concerned. In fact, a number from the hospitals and those that were home visitors came to her funeral - nice touch!
Never wanted to play golf, but maybe some fly fishing (to make Garibaldi biscuits ) - something Dad and I had a try at a long time ago, when we used to go coarse fishing and occasionally spinning for trout and salmon. Never mastered the fly bit though - usually ended up in the trees... Gave away virtually all of my fishing tackle, but still have the flies and my Dad's old wooden centrepin reel. Err, thread drifitng again
Graham (G4FUJ)
Sold L44FOR 4/4 Giallo Fly '11 MINI Countryman Cooper D All4 '90 LR 90 SW
I had six deaths in 20 months my father being the first he passed away on their 54th wedding day the doctor said he had been hanging on . I just wanted to be alone so took my dog to the beach every bit of spare time I had lost my dad yet never shed a tear . Had to prop my mother brought up with the stiff upper lip not allowed to cry on the same day 15mins later his sister in law died both in the undertakers window next to my place everyone pointing at me saying I had lost both my parents on the same day , till the undertaker sorted it out . My cousin a year older than me had her life support machine switched off followed by her father who give up the will to live . My other uncle went to Spain with his wife ( no family ) and died 29th Dec 1999 I had to sort it all out hand in his car ( mobility ) get the body returned it took a month and they do not use anything to preserve the body . Not a pretty sight when you have to help the undertaker lift it to find the death cert in Spanish under the body in a plastic coffin . Dark grey body bloated covered in a months facial hair . I held my aunt up in church and told her not to see his body and at the same time my dads sister in law died in Newcastle-upon-tyne I could only go to one . I had become hard inside . Yet in 2010 my mate died of a massive heart attack the m/ing after we had been out that was the straw and the tears just flowed , I could not get on with his wifes family Northern Ireland Catholics but nor could Peter he hated them and they said a man crying was an insult as death is a happy time not to me it was'nt . You must be a very lucky person to live to a right old age and die in your bed of natural causes . My parents lost their first child a daughter in 1947 I came along later never understood them till my daughter was born then it clicked . I have hit the age where a lot of friends are popping off over the last few year . Death does not frighten me its just leaving my daughter alone that makes me think I hope she is secure before its my time. My family has lost a fare few to cancer my mother 2 sisters and my fathers brothers and sisters , but some drank and smoked as did both of my grandfathers who died of it also a horrid diet . Today people live with it and get better my mate the other month its not the beast it was .
Sorry Boshers you are to stubborn and awkward to give in so you will be OK . You can come to mine I will be shot in the back while in bed with a young blonde by her jelouse husband with a 12 bore the keys to his 250 GTO in one hand and a crystal class of champagne in the other go out in style.
) and I want to do it while I can.
) - something Dad and I had a try at a long time ago, when we used to go coarse fishing and occasionally spinning for trout and salmon. Never mastered the fly bit though - usually ended up in the trees... Gave away virtually all of my fishing tackle, but still have the flies and my Dad's old wooden centrepin reel. Err, thread drifitng again 
