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Aug 24th, 2023
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Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 14,723 Likes: 149
Member of the Inner Circle
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Member of the Inner Circle
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 14,723 Likes: 149 |
My body If my body were a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model. I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish, and my paint job is getting a little dull. But that's not the worst of it. - My headlights are out of focus, and it's especially hard to see things up close.
- My traction is not as graceful as it once was. I slip and slide and skid and bump into things even in the best of weather.
- My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins. It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed. My fuel rate burns inefficiently.
But here's the very worst of it: - Almost every time I sneeze, cough or laugh, either my radiator leaks or my exhaust backfires.
Peter ![[Linked Image]](http://bradley.it/public_images/drive.jpg)
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 4,328
Gone to Porsche Part of the Furniture
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Gone to Porsche Part of the Furniture
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 4,328 |
Sounds like you are all AUSTIN 7. Peter 
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Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 35,774 Likes: 468
Tricky Dicky Member of the Inner Circle
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OP
Tricky Dicky Member of the Inner Circle
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 35,774 Likes: 468 |
Weather Conditions
Just got off the phone with a friend who lives in Regina Saskatchewan.
She said that since early this morning the snow has been nearly waist high and is still falling.. The temperature is 32 below zero and the north wind is increasing to near gale force. Wind chill is -59.
Her husband has done nothing but look through the kitchen window and just stare.
She says that if it gets much worse,
she may have to let the drunken b astard in.
2009 4/4 Henrietta
1999 Indigo Blue +8
2009 4/4 Sport Green prev
1993 Connaught Green +8 prev
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Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 28,415 Likes: 177
Salty Sea Dog Member of the Inner Circle
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Salty Sea Dog Member of the Inner Circle
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 28,415 Likes: 177 |
Graham (G4FUJ)
Sold L44FOR 4/4 Giallo Fly
'09 Gen2 MINI Cooper ragtop
'90 LR 90 SW
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Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 425
Learner Plates Off!
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Learner Plates Off!
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 425 |
Someone mentioned that, to make the perfect cup of tea, I should agitate the bag.
So I told her to get off her fat a*se and put the kettle on.
John
2015 Plus 4 (GDI) Sport Green
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 14,976 Likes: 1
Member of the Inner Circle
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Member of the Inner Circle
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 14,976 Likes: 1 |
Someone mentioned that, to make the perfect cup of tea, I should agitate the bag.
So I told her to get off her fat a*se and put the kettle on.  That's along the lines of.... I had to buy some dishwasher tablets the other day.....my wife had a headache.
Richard
1976 4/4 4 Seater
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Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 8,014
Posting Desperado Talk Morgan Guru
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Posting Desperado Talk Morgan Guru
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 8,014 |
You OZ lads wash your dishes in bed .!!!!!!  That's along the lines of.... I had to buy some dishwasher tablets the other day.....my wife had a headache. [/quote]
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Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 26,747 Likes: 419
Member of the Inner Circle
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Member of the Inner Circle
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 26,747 Likes: 419 |
I have a whole bunch on NZ jokes based around sheep. Best left unsaid to save the moderators time.  
JohnV6
2022 CX Plus Four
2025 MG ZS EV aka Trigger
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Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 2,515
Talk Morgan Expert
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Talk Morgan Expert
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 2,515 |
A wealthy Arab Sheik was admitted to hospital for heart surgery, but prior to the surgery, the doctors needed to store his type of blood in case the need arose.
As the gentleman had a rare type of blood, it couldn't be found locally, so, the call went out.
Finally a Scotsman was located who had a similar blood type. The Scot willingly donated his blood for the Arab.
After the surgery, the Arab sent the Scotsman in appreciation for giving his blood, a new BMW, 5 carats of diamonds, and $50,000 dollars.
A couple of days later, once again, the Arab had to go through a corrective surgery.
The hospital telephoned the Scotsman who was more than happy to donate more of his blood again.
After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Scotsman a thank-you card and a box of Black Magic chocolates.
The Scotsman was shocked that the Arab did not reciprocate his kind gesture as he had before.
He phoned the Arab and asked him: "I thought you would be generous again, that you would give me another BMW, diamonds and money ... but you only gave me a thank-you card and a box of chocolates."
To this the Arab replied: "Aye laddie, but I now have Scottish blood in ma veins".
1972 4/4 2 Seater
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 14,976 Likes: 1
Member of the Inner Circle
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Member of the Inner Circle
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 14,976 Likes: 1 |
Very good
Richard
1976 4/4 4 Seater
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