Talk Morgan Forums Community The Malvern Arms Tongue in cheek Friday humour

A LITTLE BRITISH HUMOUR.

The train was quite crowded, so a U. S. Marine walked the entire length looking for a seat, but the only seat left was taken by a
Well dressed, middle-aged, French woman's poodle. The war-weary Marine asked, 'Ma'am, may I have that seat?'

The French woman just sniffed and said to no one in particular 'Americans are so rude. My little Fifi is using that seat.'



The Marine walked the entire train again, but the only seat left was under that dog. 'Please, ma'am. May I sit down? I'm very tired.


She snorted, 'Not only are you Americans rude, you are also arrogant!'

This time the Marine didn't say a word; he just picked up the little dog, threw it out of the train window, and sat down.



The woman shrieked, 'Someone must defend my honour! This American should be put in his place!'

An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up, 'Sir, you Americans often seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing.You hold the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your cars on the wrong side of the road. And now, sir, you seem to have thrown the wrong bitch out of the window.

Bud

__________
2003 - 4/4

An Oldie, but Goldie

+1

Not heard that one before. Great

Very good

Ok, seeing as we are in a humourus mood today, here's another one:

After 35 years of marriage, a husband and wife went in for
counseling. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a
passionate,painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the years
they had been married.
On and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness,
loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of
unmet needs she had endured. Finally, after allowing this to go on for a
sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the
desk and after asking the wife to stand, he embraced and kissed her long and
passionately as the husband watched ... with a raised eyebrow. The
woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze.

The therapist turned to the husband and said, "This is what your wife
needs at least 3 times a week. Can you do this?"
The husband replied, " Well ... I can drop her off here on Mondays and
Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I fish."

Two men have a crash on the motorway and in error they send the good man never done anything wrong in his life to hell
the bad man never done anything good in his life to heaven
Up in heaven St Peter is at the gate wellcome sir here is your harp . Out of my way you *+&^%$"? wheres the women the drugs the booze . This is heaven sir we do not sin . He storms off
Down in hell the devil hello sex over their free booze in the corner help your self to the drugs on the way . I have come to work sir may I have a shovel .Its hell enjoy yourself its free I wish to work sir.

This goes on for week's and the Devil say's every time I ask him to enjoy himself he just wants to work something is wrong . I must phone heaven .


Phone ring ring hello is that heaven this is the devil speaking .

Yes this is heaven .

Is that the virgin Mary .


IT WAS .

Angela Merkel arrived at the the French boarder and handed over her passport. The French immigration officer asked "occupation?" She replied "no just here for two days".

Ouch.. .....be careful Richard.
I got myself in trouble on TM once for telling an edgy joke.