Out for the evening ....An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Gurkha, a Latvian, a Turk, an Aussie, a German, a Yank, an Egyptian, a Jap, a Mexican, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Jordanian, a Kiwi, a Swede, a Finn, a Canadian, an Israeli, a Romanian, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian, an Argentinian, a Libyan, a Muslim, a Hindu, a Buddhist and an African all tried to get into a posh London Night Club. . . . . . . .
The bouncer said, "I'm very sorry lads, ....I can't let you in without a Thai. "
The wife's back on the warpath again. Last night she said she wanted to make a sex movie, and all I did was suggest we should hold auditions for her part.
I just received an audit notice on my tax return for 2012 from the IRS. It puzzles me ! They are questioning how many dependents I claimed. I guess it was because of my response to the question: "List all dependents", I replied: 12 million illegal immigrants; 3 million crack heads; 42 million unemployed people on food stamps, welfare, Medicaid, Section 8, etc., 2 million people in over 243 prisons; half of Mexico and 535 persons in the U.S. House and Senate." 1 useless President. 1 clown in the VP office, Evidently, this was NOT an acceptable answer.
There were two buddies, one with a Doberman Pinscher and the other with a Chihuahua. The guy with the Doberman Pinscher says to his friend, "Let's go over to that restaurant and get something to eat." The guy with the Chihuahua says, "We can't go in there. We've got dogs with us." The buddy with the Doberman Pinscher says, "Just follow my lead." They walk over to the restaurant, the guy with the Doberman Pinscher puts on a pair of dark glasses and he starts to walk in. The bouncer at the door says, "Sorry, mac, no pets allowed." The man with the Doberman Pinscher says, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye-dog." The bouncer says, "A Doberman Pinscher?" He answers, "Yes, they're using them now; they're very good and protect me from robbers, too." The man at the door says, "Come on in." The buddy with the Chihuahua figures, "What the heck," so he puts on a pair of dark glasses and starts to walk in. Once again the bouncer says, "Sorry, pal, no pets allowed." The guy with the Chihuahua says, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye dog." The bouncer at the door says, "A Chihuahua?" The man with the Chihuahua says, "A Chihuahua?????? They gave me a Chihuahua?!"
2009 4/4 Henrietta 1999 Indigo Blue +8 2009 4/4 Sport Green prev 1993 Connaught Green +8 prev