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Aug 24th, 2023
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Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 35,772 Likes: 468
Tricky Dicky Member of the Inner Circle
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OP
Tricky Dicky Member of the Inner Circle
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 35,772 Likes: 468 |
2009 4/4 Henrietta
1999 Indigo Blue +8
2009 4/4 Sport Green prev
1993 Connaught Green +8 prev
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 14,976 Likes: 1
Member of the Inner Circle
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Member of the Inner Circle
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 14,976 Likes: 1 |
A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of beer and a ham sandwich. The barman looks at him and says, "Hang on! You're a duck. And you can talk!"
"Correct," says the duck. "Now if you don't mind, can I have my beer and my sandwich please?"
"Certainly, sorry about that," says the barman as he pulls the duck's pint. "It's just we don't get many ducks in this pub. What are you doing round this way?"
"I'm working on the building site across the road," explains the duck. "I'm a plasterer."
The flabbergasted barman cannot believe the duck and wants to learn more, but takes the hint when the duck pulls out a newspaper from his bag and proceeds to read it.
The duck reads his paper, drinks his beer, eats his sandwich, bids the barman good day and leaves.
The same thing happens for two weeks. Then one day the circus comes to town. The ringmaster comes into the pub for a pint and the barman says to him, "You're with the circus, aren't you? Well, I know this duck that could be just brilliant in your circus. He talks,drinks beer,eats sandwiches, reads the newspaper and everything!"
"Sounds marvellous," says the ringmaster, handing over his business card. "Get him to give me a call."
So the next day when the duck comes into the pub the barman says,
"Hey Mr. Duck, I reckon I can line you up with a top job, paying really good money."
"I'm always looking for the next job," says the duck. "Where is it?"
"At the circus," says the barman.
"The circus?" The duck asks. "With all the animals who live in cages and performers who live in caravans?"
"Of course," the barman replies.
"And a big tent and a ringmaster?" persists the duck.
"That's right!" says the barman.
The duck shakes his head in amazement and says,"Why on earth would they want a plasterer?"
Richard
1976 4/4 4 Seater
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Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 35,772 Likes: 468
Tricky Dicky Member of the Inner Circle
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OP
Tricky Dicky Member of the Inner Circle
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 35,772 Likes: 468 |
2009 4/4 Henrietta
1999 Indigo Blue +8
2009 4/4 Sport Green prev
1993 Connaught Green +8 prev
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Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 35,772 Likes: 468
Tricky Dicky Member of the Inner Circle
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OP
Tricky Dicky Member of the Inner Circle
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 35,772 Likes: 468 |
Sky news report.
The Irish have joined in the attack on Libya .They sent in
3 ships - 2 full of sand and one full of cement......it was a mortar attack.
Kate Middleton asked the Queen for advice on marriage and a long
relationship...
she replied "Wear a seatbelt and don't hiss me off!"
A man approaches a young woman in a shop. he says" I can't find my wife, can
I talk to you for a few minutes?"
The woman says "Sure but do you have any idea where your wife is?"
"Not a clue" he says" But whenever I talk to a beautiful woman with bits
like yours she appears out of nowhere!"
The Japanese government have thanked Britain for the rescue dogs they sent
out.
They said they were delicious!
My sexy Chinese neighbour told me she was desperate for a roger.
It was only when I had my trousers round my ankles, that I realised she
wanted to rent her spare room out!!
2009 4/4 Henrietta
1999 Indigo Blue +8
2009 4/4 Sport Green prev
1993 Connaught Green +8 prev
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 14,976 Likes: 1
Member of the Inner Circle
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Member of the Inner Circle
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 14,976 Likes: 1 |
Like the first one...a bit like "Irish troops have arrived in the Gulf, the Mexican's don't know what to do with them.
Richard
1976 4/4 4 Seater
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 14,976 Likes: 1
Member of the Inner Circle
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Member of the Inner Circle
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 14,976 Likes: 1 |
Live At The Referendum ... very funny (YouTube) ... Click here
Last edited by Richard - Aus; 11/09/14 02:13 AM.
Richard
1976 4/4 4 Seater
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 14,976 Likes: 1
Member of the Inner Circle
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Member of the Inner Circle
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 14,976 Likes: 1 |
...and then Frankie Boyle's view (funnier!) ... Click here (YouTube).
Richard
1976 4/4 4 Seater
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Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 35,772 Likes: 468
Tricky Dicky Member of the Inner Circle
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OP
Tricky Dicky Member of the Inner Circle
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 35,772 Likes: 468 |
K B Brilliant 
Last edited by 4/4sportsfun; 11/09/14 02:23 AM.
2009 4/4 Henrietta
1999 Indigo Blue +8
2009 4/4 Sport Green prev
1993 Connaught Green +8 prev
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Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 35,772 Likes: 468
Tricky Dicky Member of the Inner Circle
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OP
Tricky Dicky Member of the Inner Circle
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 35,772 Likes: 468 |
F B Brilliant Crying here now....
2009 4/4 Henrietta
1999 Indigo Blue +8
2009 4/4 Sport Green prev
1993 Connaught Green +8 prev
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 14,976 Likes: 1
Member of the Inner Circle
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Member of the Inner Circle
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 14,976 Likes: 1 |
...and finally Jack Dee ... Click here
Richard
1976 4/4 4 Seater
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