Talk Morgan Forums Community The Malvern Arms Politically Correctness.

+1 well at least when we're all locked up in prison we can spend all talking about Morgans...

I thought this should be under the PC I keep saying it does not exist in the NE and people up here are so very open .Y/day was one of those days where I had to get everything into an a/noon . The engraver, then the garage , followed by the blacksmith an old mate who had lost his dog . He is huge can push nails into steel with his fingers and he said he shed many tears over his dog. Still hurting him to talk about it . Off to the banks of the TYNE to a precision engineers what a laugh here is the boss taking the pee out of me for being short and driving a mog . He had a BMW it was an exchange of abuse to each other me telling him he was a soft B*stard get a proper car . Then he asked for some photos of the mog and played hell with me because I dont carry any . Took his e-mail and sent some, that should keep him happy . He sent me to another miles up the road taking the pee out of me . I found the 2nd place . Come in John go and sit in the board room mate I will be in soon . I wanted some mog parts made . No problem we sat chatting and out came our life stories his in a broad Geordie voice . We spoke of PC and he told me he went to Spain with his drinking mates wives and kids left at home , after a few days trying to get a sun lounger they found the German folk got up at 7am went down and put their towels on them . Then they would go off to the town , they complained to the hotel manager but he did nothing . The following m/ing all the Geordie lads where called for at the pool . The German folk had done the same again only this time one Geordie lad had gone down and thrown ever sun lounger with towel to the bottom of the pool . But he had taken a large felt tip pen and wrote on the rear of each one the Bismarck sinks again . I came home laughing but had nothing to eat since b/fast driving down the A1 thought must go for a curry tonight even though had a sirlion steak last night . Picked SWMBO and off to South Shields curry mile but its been hot all day so to cool down walked the south pier in tee shirt 1 mile out into the North sea a bit windy but it did the trick . Plenty lads up to the half way gate fishing with cans of beer for company yet told the b*ggers are not biting . Then one of the best curries for years 3 course ( two hand made onion bhaji's with salad , chicken breast ceylon curry pilau rice followed by ice cream or coffee ) £7.99. The Indian lad had just had one of these odd hair cuts thought it the dogs bits , I asked had he been playing cowboys and Indians ( the American kind )and was scalped SWMBO told him he looked like a pineapple head . everyone laughing . On the way back to the car SWMBO said " look at this " in a pub window was a huge poster . Bankock lady boys coming to Newcastle , I off quick to the car . Not my cup of tea must be for Hen nights . Yet it would not surprise me a group of Geordie lads going to tip the apple cart for a laugh.

"Bankock lady boys coming to Newcastle "

I know the feeling JTL.....I'm off next month to Bangkok for my nephews wedding. He wants me to join him at his stag do.......and lady boys, ping pong balls etc will feature no doubt! I've then a three week break in Australia...I think I might need it to recover!!

Pin pong balls

Jay

Are you honoring us on the West coast with your presence?

Never mind ping pong balls being fired across the room..
"StickyVicky" had a cabaret act in Majorca where she put Dynamo to shame....
She would produce items from " nowhere" ( I'll leave you to work out where from!)
She never needed a handbag to carry things round....
When she retired her daughter took up the tradition.
She even appeared in a cameo on Benidorm.
Rumour has it she is hiding Lord Lucan up there for a monthly fee...

Fleets of battleships?
don't forget to see the darts match in Bangkok. That put me off for months.

Am in Bangkok right now but have avoided Phat Pong this trip.

I forgot to mention opening crown cap beer bottles without an opener. That made me wince.

Who are you going to leave Nero with, after all the work he needs a good spanking!

Up here when people say spanking it means something looks great .Also use the words Cock sure just means they feels 100% correct. Or you have made a right balls up , tits up or arse of that, means its wrong . They use all parts of the body in everyday speach no one says a word its everyday banter .