Talk Morgan Forums Community The Malvern Arms Tongue in cheek Friday humour

I remember the cheese of my childhood,
And the bread that we cut with a knife,
When the children helped with the housework,
And the men went to work, not the wife.

The cheese never needed a fridge
And the bread was so crusty and hot,
The children were seldom unhappy
And the wife was content with her lot.

I remember the milk from the bottle,
With the yummy cream on the top,
Our dinner came hot from the oven,
And not from the fridge; in the shop.
The kids were a lot more contented,
They didn't need money for kicks,
Just a game with their mates in the road,
And sometimes the Saturday flicks.

I remember the shop on the corner,
Where a pen'orth of sweets was sold
Do you think I'm a bit too nostalgic?
Or is it....I'm just getting old?
I remember the 'loo' was the lavy
And the bogey man came in the night,
It wasn't the least bit funny
Going "out back" with no light.

The interesting items we perused,
From the newspapers cut into squares,
And hung on a peg in the loo,
It took little to keep us amused.

The clothes were boiled in the copper,
With plenty of rich foamy suds
But the ironing seemed never ending
As Mum pressed everyone's 'duds'.

I remember the slap on my backside,
And the taste of soap if I swore
Anorexia and diets weren't heard of
And we hadn't much choice what we wore.

Do you think that bruised our ego?
Or our initiative was destroyed?
We ate what was put on the table
And I think life was better enjoyed.

But a huge fact not hereto mentioned
In this mushy tale of nostalgic rejoice
Is the reason we all “enjoyed” our lot
Was that we had NO BLOODY CHOICE.............

How true, Richard ! It's a wonder we survived, then thrived !

You were lucky! (In a Yorkshire accent)

scraping in t' ground!?

I remember all that. How true it was.

Mum and dad cleared the land and built the house themselves, buying materials as they could afford it. First we lived in two caravans and then the first part of the house when it was finished.

I think I had one shilling a week for pocket money. A penny could buy a cheap icecream and the good ones cost threepence.

You could get a bag of broken biscuits from the grocer (the green grocer sold fruit and vegies), the first self-service shops (supermarkets) were just starting to appear

Mobile phones and computers were not even thought of and my Christmas present was a second hand bike that my dad had repainted by hand. The kids today cost a fortune.

For entertainment we boys put on a backpack and went camping in the bush, following the creek down to Berowra Waters or Cowan creek for a swim. We could catch huge yabbies then but now the creeks are full of garden rubbish.

Some of the best days of my life, but I didn't know it then.

Skippy the bush kangaroo has come forward today

after years of silence......

She say's not only did Rolf Harris tie her down

but the dirty b>>>>>d went on to sing about it !

The Outhouse
Once there was a little boy who lived in the country.
They had to use an Outhouse, and the little boy hated it because it was hot in the summer, cold in the winter and stank all the time.

The Outhouse was sitting on the bank of a creek and the boy determined that one day he would push that outhouse into the creek.

One day after a spring rain, the creek was swollen so the little boy decided today was the day to push the Outhouse into the creek.

So he got a large stick and started pushing.

Finally, The Outhouse toppled into the creek and floated away.

That night his dad told him they were going to the woodshed after supper. Knowing that meant a spanking, the little boy asked why.

The dad replied, "Someone pushed the Outhouse into the creek today. It was you, wasn't it, son," ?

The boy answered yes. Then he thought a moment and said,

"Dad, I read in school today that George Washington chopped down a cherry tree and didn't get into trouble because he told the truth."

The dad replied, "Well, son, George Washington's Father wasn't in that cherry tree."

It has been said that paper is dead. It' s only 39 seconds so please watch it.
The irony won't be lost on you.

http://www.youtube.com/embed/V_gOZDWQj3Q?rel=0

Wife's Diary:

Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird.
We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner.
I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was
upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it.
Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere

quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn't say much.

I asked him what was wrong; He said, 'Nothing’.
I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset.
He said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me,
and not to worry about it. On the way home, I told him that I loved him.
He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can't explain his behaviour.
I don't know why he didn't say, 'I love you, too.'

When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely,
as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore.
He just sat there quietly, and watched TV.
He continued to seem distant and absent.
Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed.
About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. But I still felt that he was

distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep.
I cried. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his
thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.


Husband's Diary:

A two-foot putt... who the hell misses a two-foot putt…??

Toilet Door Lock pre 2012
DON'T SHUT

Toilet Door Lock post 2012
"DON'T SHOOT