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Aug 24th, 2023
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Joined: May 2014
Posts: 5,108 Likes: 56
Black Rat Charter Member
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Black Rat Charter Member
Joined: May 2014
Posts: 5,108 Likes: 56 |
Two wives went for a girls' night out, and ended up having a bit too much to drink.
Walking home, they realised they were desperate for a pee, so they went into a cemetery to relieve themselves. Having nothing to wipe with, one used her knickers, and the other grabbed a wreath from a nearby gravestone.
The next morning, one of the husbands rang the other. "No more girls' nights out for my wife, she came home with no knickers on".
"You think that's bad? Mine had a card stuck in her bum crack which said 'From all the lads at the Fire Station, we'll never forget you'! " Hose been a naughty girl, then?  Quite a tender moment 
Keith
2013 narrow bodied + 4 Ruby.
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Joined: May 2010
Posts: 9,285 Likes: 69
Needs to Get Out More!
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Needs to Get Out More!
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 9,285 Likes: 69 |
Two wives went for a girls' night out, and ended up having a bit too much to drink.
Walking home, they realised they were desperate for a pee, so they went into a cemetery to relieve themselves. Having nothing to wipe with, one used her knickers, and the other grabbed a wreath from a nearby gravestone.
The next morning, one of the husbands rang the other. "No more girls' nights out for my wife, she came home with no knickers on".
"You think that's bad? Mine had a card stuck in her bum crack which said 'From all the lads at the Fire Station, we'll never forget you'! " Hose been a naughty girl, then? Quite a tender moment Any ladders in her tights?
Plus Four MY23 Furka Rouge
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 14,976 Likes: 1
Member of the Inner Circle
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Member of the Inner Circle
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 14,976 Likes: 1 |
Top 15 Jokes from the Fringe...
1. "I'm not a fan of the new pound coin, but then again, I hate all change" - Ken Cheng
2. "Trump's nothing like Hitler. There's no way he could write a book" - Frankie Boyle
3. "I've given up asking rhetorical questions. What's the point?" - Alexei Sayle
4. "I'm looking for the girl next door type. I'm just gonna keep moving house till I find her" - Lew Fitz
5. "I like to imagine the guy who invented the umbrella was going to call it the 'brella'. But he hesitated" - Andy Field
6. "Combine Harvesters. And you'll have a really big restaurant" - Mark Simmons
7. "I'm rubbish with names. It's not my fault, it's a condition. There's a name for it..." - Jimeoin
8. "I have two boys, 5 and 6. We're no good at naming things in our house" - Ed Byrne
9. "I wasn't particularly close to my dad before he died... which was lucky, because he trod on a land mine" - Olaf Falafel
10. "Whenever someone says, 'I don't believe in coincidences.' I say, 'Oh my God, me neither!"' - Alasdair Beckett-King
11. "A friend tricked me into going to Wimbledon by telling me it was a men's singles event" - Angela Barnes
12. "As a vegan, I think people who sell meat are disgusting; but apparently people who sell fruit and veg are grocer" - Adele Cliff
13. "For me dying is a lot like going camping. I don't want to do it" - Phil Wang
14. "I wonder how many chameleons snuck onto the Ark" - Adam Hess
15. "I went to a Pretenders gig. It was a tribute act" - Tim Vine
Richard
1976 4/4 4 Seater
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Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 5,653 Likes: 4
Charter Member
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Charter Member
Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 5,653 Likes: 4 |
Cricky what were the others like then. Guess they get better the more you drink. 
Martin (Deano)
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Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 26,748 Likes: 419
Member of the Inner Circle
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Member of the Inner Circle
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 26,748 Likes: 419 |
JohnV6
2022 CX Plus Four
2025 MG ZS EV aka Trigger
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Joined: Aug 2013
Posts: 15,794 Likes: 14
Formerly known as Aldermog Member of the Inner Circle
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Formerly known as Aldermog Member of the Inner Circle
Joined: Aug 2013
Posts: 15,794 Likes: 14 |
Although it is Tuesday I thought I'd post this...
Avocados
A wife asks her husband, "Could you please go to Tesco for me and buy one carton of milk and if they have avocados, get 6.
A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.
The wife asks him, "Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"
He replied, "They had avocados."
If you're a woman, I'm sure you're going back to read this again!
Men will get it the first time...
Peter,
66, 2016 Porsche Boxster S
No longer driving Tarka, the 2014 Plus 8...
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Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 7,553 Likes: 88
Talk Morgan Guru
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Talk Morgan Guru
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 7,553 Likes: 88 |
On Radio Devon this morning. "I'm not keen on the new pound coin; but then again I don't like change" ps Ooops; just seen that this has already been posted. However Radio Devon are always a few days behind everyone else, so apologies. 
Last edited by Budster; 22/08/17 03:16 PM.
Bud
4/4 "Stanley"
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Joined: Oct 2012
Posts: 6,538
Talk Morgan Sage
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Talk Morgan Sage
Joined: Oct 2012
Posts: 6,538 |
That one liner is the winner at this years Edinburgh Festival!
Neil
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Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 21,868 Likes: 167
Roadster Guru Member of the Inner Circle
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Roadster Guru Member of the Inner Circle
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 21,868 Likes: 167 |
My shopping list said 'two carrots'. (Apparently for my mother as I later discovered). There were no loose carrots. 'Does this mean two bags?' I pondered. I placed two bags in my basket, but after a moment or two thought better of it. I removed one bag. "Why did you bring a bag of carrots when I asked for two?" Was the question. "I nearly brought two bags" was my reply. "Its a good job you didn't" was the reply. "Would you rather have had no carrots?" I replied "That's not the point. Why didn't you ring me.........." was the closing statement. 
DaveW
'05 Red Roadster S1
'16 Yellow (Not the only) Narrow AR GDI Plus 4
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Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 11,610 Likes: 43
Wave & smile... It's a Morgan Member of the Inner Circle
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Wave & smile... It's a Morgan Member of the Inner Circle
Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 11,610 Likes: 43 |
2008 XXVII Platform, Bugatti Blue Roadster 4 Seater
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