Talk Morgan Forums Community The Malvern Arms Tongue in cheek Monday humour

Ron, an elderly man in Florida, had owned a large farm for several years, which had a pond at the back.

it was suitable for swimming, so he fixed it up nicely with some orange and lime trees.



One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn’t been there for a while. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.

As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.

When he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.

He made the women aware of his presence and they went to the deep end.

One of the women Shouted to him. “We’re not coming out until you leave!”

Ron frowned, “I didn’t come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked.”

Holding the bucket up Ron said, “I’m here to feed the alligator.”

Some old men can still think fast!!!

Oops !! .

Just read in the local paper an item about a local barber who has been arrested for supplying drugs, I have been a customer of his for many years and didn't have a clue he was a barber

A sweet grandmother telephoned Salisbury District Hospital. She timidly
asked, "Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a
patient is doing?"

The operator said, "I'll be glad to help, dear. What's the name and
room number of the patient?"
The grandmother in her weak, tremulous voice said, "Norma Findlay,
Durrington Ward, Side Room 302

The operator replied, "Let me put you on hold while I check with the
nurse's station for that Ward"

After a few minutes, the operator returned to the phone and said, "I
have good news. Her nurse just told me that Norma is doing well. Her
blood pressure is fine; her blood work just came back normal and her
doctor, Dr. Cohen, has scheduled her to be discharged tomorrow."

The grandmother said, "Thank you. That's wonderful. I was so
worried God bless you for the good news."

The operator replied, "You're more than welcome. Is Norma your
daughter?"

The grandmother said, "No, I'm Norma Findlay.
No onetells me anything."

Made a phone call to a Help Line last night, but all I could hear was a series of clicks on the line.

I found out later, my call had been recorded for training porpoises……


James