Talk Morgan Forums Community The Malvern Arms Advice required -puppy and Morgan

We are way too selfish to cope with a dog.

It would spoil our spontaneity.......

This has been just been posted on the TR Register forum by a dog lover!

"So you think you want a dog????

• To prepare for the dog, go to the local Veterinary Surgeon. Tip the contents of your purse/ wallet onto his counter and tell him to help himself. Then go to the pet shop. Arrange to have your wages paid directly to their accountant. Go home and read the paper in peace for the last time.
• Before you finally get a Dog find a couple who already have one and berate them about their methods of discipline, lack of patience, appallingly low tolerance levels, and how they have allowed their dog to run riot. Suggest ways in which they might improve their dog’s sleeping habits, toilet training, table manners and overall behaviour. Enjoy it – it’ll be the last time in your life that you will have all the answers.
• To discover how the night feels, go to bed at 10pm. Set the alarm for midnight, wake up and throw yourself violently onto the floor. Place a 56lb bag of potatoes on the duvet and attempt to get back under the covers. Reset the alarm for 5.30am and, just as you are waking up, slap yourself in the face with a large wet sponge. Get up, make breakfast, keep this up for 14 years, try to look cheerful.
• Can you stand the mess that dogs make? To find out first throw 2 gallons of mud onto a newly mopped kitchen floor, smear the excess up the sides of the cooker and kitchen units. Tread a little into the hall and living room carpets. Stick your fingers in the flower-beds and rub them on the clean walls. Now, how does that look?
• Walk down the road with one arm fully extended, break into a jog extending the arm even further. Say ‘heel’ nicely, several times. Shout ‘heel’ several more. Scream ‘stop pulling damn you’. Ignore looks from passers-by.
• Forget the BMW and buy a Ford Sierra Estate. Buy a rawhide chew, a packet of dog biscuits and a large bone. Mash them down the back of the rear seats, Run a garden rake down both sides of the car, Go to the hairdressers and obtain a week’s floor sweepings. Distribute liberally on the seats and carpets repeat this procedure at home as well. . There, perfect!
• Get ready to go out, try to sneak out of the door without making a sound. Go halfway down the garden path, come back. Five minutes later try again. Come back. Put on the stereo and make soothing noises. Try again. Come back. Ring friends and tell them to come round to see you instead.
• Practice sitting on not more that 1/8th of the sofa and try different methods of balancing a hot cup on your knees. When, if ever, you perfect this, try eating a packet of crisps/ biscuits silently whilst keeping the packet totally out of sight. Give up and sprinkles crumbly residue down back of sofa.
• Now for a final tip start practicing even trying to see your computer screen while balancing 40 odd lb's of A dog on your lap. IMPOSSIBLE.....Nah you just need to start practising when they are tiny Now using the keyboard is an artform.
• Always repeat everything you say at least five times. Always repeat everything you say…Always repeat everything you say.....Always....U get the picture."

We've owned dogs before . Two Great Danes and then a field trained springer, but when he had to be put down we had started sailing and the two definitely dont go together. Now sailing is coming to an end and we are becoming too sedentary, a dog for companionship and to force us to go out for walks sounds good. Son has a cockerpoo which doesnt shed or smell so thats the likely way we will go.

For the odd weekend away, my son will take the dog. But a question. His dog is a spayed bitch. If I were to get a male dog, would it be trying to roger his dog all the time or would the fact that it was spayed make it uninteresting to him? Cant imagine the daughter in law being keen to put up with that sort of issue.

Member of our Ferrari Owners Club branch has a 488 spider ( a mere 250k kitted out) and arrives at soime meetings with a bulldog sat on the passenger seat. The dog is called Enzo.!

Not much different to having a baby....
A lifetime "investment".....

But of course, you can sell you dog and if it comes to it, have it kindly put to sleep.

But babies grow up and become independent.

And there are few no go areas for babies..........

Surely Howard, if you are thinking of getting a dog, you will pontificate about it for a couple of years, perhaps go and visit a couple of breeders and then get a cat....

And then consider that it needs more stripes....

Simon @ SiFab.co.uk

We have a two year old Cockapoo and he rides on the passenger seat when I drive alone. I have a special harness that works with the seat belt mounting. When SWMBO is with me he sits on her lap, still harnessed in, it's a bit cosy but works for short journeys.

Perfect Analysis!

Life without dogs is possible, but pointless.