OK....another quiet night so brace yourselves....
Attitudes towards cosmetic surgery have changed greatly over the years. These days if you mention Botox, nobody raises an eyebrow.
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Husband pinches his wife's breasts and says "If we firm these up, we can get rid of your bra".
Wife grabs his penis and says "If we firm this up, we can get rid of the milkman!"
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I phoned up my fruit machine manufacturer.
I said, "My fruit machine isn't working".
The lady said, "Can you hold?"
I said, "No, it won't even let me nudge.
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What do you call a bloke who always sits next to a door?
Mat.
What do you call a cheap circumcision?
A rip-off.
What do you call a piebald camel ?
Camelflaged
