Talk Morgan Forums Community The Malvern Arms Tongue in cheek Monday humour

It is raining outside so just in the mood for some happy thoughts........
Brace yourselves......




Shakespeare walked into a pub.
The landlord said, "Get out; yer barred!"

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The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick.
She still isn't talking to me.


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A woman on a plane sneezes, takes out a tissue, gently wipes her nose, and then visibly shudders for ten to fifteen seconds.
A man sitting next to her notices but just goes back to reading his book.
A few minutes later, the woman sneezes again, takes a tissue, wipes her nose, and then shudders violently once more.
He assumes that the woman might have a cold, but the man is curious about the shuddering.
A few more minutes pass and the woman sneezes yet again.
As before, she takes a tissue, wipes her nose, and yet again her body shakes - even more than before.
Unable to restrain his curiosity, the man turns to the woman and says, “I couldn’t help but notice that you’ve sneezed three times, wiped your nose and then shuddered violently. Are you OK? - Is anything wrong?”
“I am sorry if I disturbed you. I have a very rare medical condition. Whenever I sneeze I have an orgasm.”
The man, more than a bit embarrassed, but still curious “I have never heard of that condition before” he asks. “Are you taking anything for it?”
The woman nodded, “Pepper.”

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Mahatma Gandhi spent most of his time barefoot, covering his feet with calluses.
He ate very little, which made him frail.
His odd, weird diet also gave him bad breath.
What did this make him?
A super callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

Knock, knock.


Who's there?


M A B It's a big horse.


M A B It's a big horse who?


M A B It's a big horse I'm a Londoner.

My wife accused me of being a transvestite.

So I packed her things and left.

@tmg hahaha

If you pay a call at Porthcawl you have been warned ! Oh err No not April 1 from todays Grudian..

That should keep the courts busy when people who have been sprayed start sueing the council

I read that and wondered how it will differentiate between a really fat person using the facilities and two skinny people in the throws of passion

That reminds us of the time our wife accused us of being Schizophrenic.

My grandparents were named Pearl and Dean...

But we called them grandma and grandpapapapapapapapapapapaa...