Talk Morgan Forums Community The Malvern Arms Monday Smiles

I'm selling my pet python on eBay.

Some bloke just rang up and asked "Is it big?"

I said "It's massive!"

He said "How many feet?"

I said "None, it's a snake!"

Why does Santa have 3 gardens?








So he dan Hoe, Hoe , Hoe.

One for Madmax

What is bad tempered and goes with custard












Apple grumble
Boom boom

Don't know who it's from but it sums it all up.

T'was a week before Christmas,
> And all through the town,
> People wore masks,
> That covered their frown.
> The frown had begun
> Way back in the Spring,
> When a global pandemic
> Changed everything.
> They called it corona,
> But unlike the beer,
> It didn’t bring good times,
> It didn’t bring cheer.
> Airplanes were grounded,
> Travel was banned.
> Borders were closed
> Across air, sea and land.
> As the world entered lockdown
> To flatten the curve,
> The economy halted,
> And folks lost their nerve.
> From March to July
> We rode the first wave,
> People stayed home,
> They tried to behave.
> When summer emerged
> The lockdown was lifted.
> But away from caution,
> Many folks drifted.
> Now it’s December
> And cases are spiking,
> Wave two has arrived,
> Much to our disliking.
> It’s true that this year
> Has had sadness a plenty,
> We’ll never forget
> The year 2020.
> And just ‘round the corner -
> The holiday season,
> But why be merry?
> Is there even one reason?
> To decorate the house
> And put up the tree,
> Who will see it,
> No one but me.
> But outside my window
> The rain gently falls,
> And I think to myself,
> Let’s deck the halls!
> So, I gather the ribbon,
> The garland and bows,
> As I play those old carols,
> My happiness grows.
> Christmas is not cancelled
> And neither is hope.
> If we lean on each other,
> I know we can cope
❤💚

That is really good, thanks for sharing Dirk

I saw 4 blokes wearing Sheffield United shirts playing football in the street with a kitten, the poor thing was was trying to avoid them, miaowing and mewling. I was about to interject and stop it when the kitten went 1-0 up.

Found this in another context and couldn't resist tweaking with the text






K