Talk Morgan Forums Community The Malvern Arms Monday Smiles

Three chaps were involved in a car crash on Christmas Eve, and all arrived at the pearly gates just as the Xmas pissup was about to start. So St Peter says "Look, I haven't got time to look through all your life stories to find out if you deserve to come in, so if you can show me something Xmas related I'll let you in"

First chap: "I was driving home to give my child this lovely present"

'OK, you're in'

Second Chap "I was just arranging the details for our homeless shelter Xmas dinner, here's the menu"

'OK, you're in'

Third chap: "Here's a pair of ladies knickers"

'And what is so xmassy about them?'

"They're Carol's"

A newly married colleague of mine told me they had decided not to give each other Xmas presents that year. He thought it touching his wife has suggested that. I put him right

He will learn.
Took me a while.
Our Daughter acts as the "present broker" ensuring I buy what will be appreciated, and making sure Caroline buys what I'll appreciate!!

So when they say that kids are required for the continuation of the species what they actually mean is - Get them to run interference or you will be dead. Makes sense now.

Exactly.

Reporter: End of Season Who Will Be Champion
Raikkonen: The one with the most points in the end will be the champion

I'm going to miss this man, he really cracks me up..

I remember buying my wife a set of none stick pans the Christmas after she bought me a Black and Decker Workmate for my birthday. I kept her ‘real’ present until lunchtime as the silence all morning was enjoyable. 45 years later she still goes on about it! Lesson learnt. 🤣

BR
Colin

I've always found it curious the difference in what men and women find acceptable as gifts.

When we married, my wife-to-be created a wedding list of suggested presents: mostly "household items" like saucepans, bedsheets, towels etc. The list was circulated and my brother agreed to supply the one item that I had added: an electric drill.

On opening the presents after the event I was surprised to find no drill! My brother's partner had overruled his choice on the basis that a drill was a man's item, but a wedding present should be for the couple. They gave us a set of kitchen scales instead. The logic of this escapes me to this day.

Ian, just before we married my now wife asked as I didn't want a wedding ring, what could she buy me. Electric drill was my answer too, but I got a pair of binoculars instead. Mind you they've been very useful admiring the "beach wildlife" whilst on holiday over the years!