Hood down: stand on the cross member in front of the seat, one hand on the top of the dash and the other on the side of the seat and then slide down into the seat whilst moving the feet and legs forward under the steering wheel.
Hood up: one leg in then bend double and put the head in followed by the rest of the body, sit down and get settled then lift in the other leg.

Once seated, smile, start the car, smile again whilst waiting a moment for it to warm, insert gear, smile again and don't stop until you get out. If you really must you can keep smiling for some time afterwards.

Peter

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