Wow! This is a bit if a heavy thread to come across tonight! Having just visited my 95yr old father, who is not going to last much longer, and my 96 year old mother, who swam 4 lengths of the local pool yesterday, it struck a few chords.
I moved them out of their house 4+ years ago after the NHS tried but failed to kill my mother, and into a care home a mile away from where I live, and I visit at least 5 times a week.
My mother is as happy as anything, relishing every day, and a real 'cup half full' person, who lived a full and active life - GP, JP, riding, hunting etc, and is great fun to be with. Each day is a bonus.
My father is very unhappy, partly because he is now virtually blind, but he lived a very full and active life, ocean racing, climbing, expeditions, as well as being a GP, and detests his current physical state. I have power of attorney, but haven't needed to use it except for financial matters, but I have now - having explained to him the implications - stopped the future use of antibiotics, as he now wants to be allowed to die. Pneumonia used to be in the pre antibotics days, in his words, the old man's friend. The next illness will see him off, and he is now comfortable with that. In the meantime pain can be controlled, but quality of life is nil. Not a great place to be, and extremely difficult. Thank heavens the care home is first rate.
I do agree with him when he says he kept himself too fit, and for what? He feels he has outlived his useful and enjoyable life by at least five years, so why did he bother?
The trouble is we don't all get that fatal stroke or heart attack in our sleep at 90, just as we are ready to go.
It certainly makes the debate on assisted dying very pertinent. It also makes me relish every moment of every day while I can. What a week, with the TOTH, 250 miles in the Roadster, 2 excellent sails on my boat, and a regatta to look forward to over the weekend. And a transatlantic sail at the end of the year! It almost seems worth having worked for years to build up a pension, buy a house, pay enormous taxes, but how the hell my kids are going to cope, I do not know.
Another scotch is called for! And a woman! And some food!
