Talk Morgan Forums Community The Malvern Arms Tongue in cheek Friday humour

Man talking to landlord in pub -

I was married once, but she was obsessed by Jeremy Kyle.

She watched his show twice a day and kept saying, "I would love to meet that Jeremy Kyle".

So I arranged it for her.

I f***** her sisters.







copy cat

A guy is watching a film with creepy organ music on the TV and yells, "Don't enter the church, for f@#ks sake don't enter the church, you moron!!!"

His wife asks him, "What are you watching?"

Husband replies, "Our bloody wedding video"

.....

Two women were out for a Saturday stroll. One had a Dobermann and the other, a Chihuahua . As they walked down the street, the one with the Dobermann said to her friend, "Let's go over to that bar for a drink."

The lady with the Chihuahua said, "We can't go in there.
We've got dogs with us."

The one with the Dobermann said, "Just watch, and do as I do."

They walked over to the bar and the one with the Dobermann put on a pair of dark glasses and started to walk in.

The bouncer at the door said, "Sorry, lady, no pets allowed."

The woman with the Dobermann said, "You don't understand.
This is my guide dog."

The bouncer said, "A Dobermann?"
The woman said, "Yes, they're using them now. They're very good."

The bouncer said, "OK, come on in."

The lady with the Chihuahua thought that convincing him that a Chihuahua was a guide dog may be a bit more difficult, but thought, "What the heck," so she put on her dark glasses and started to walk in.

Once again the bouncer said, "Sorry, lady, no pets allowed."

The woman said, "You don't understand. This is my guide dog"

The bouncer said, "A Chihuahua?"

The woman with the Chihuahua said,

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"A Chihuahua? They gave me a f***ing Chihuahua?!"

Not really a joke, just a funny link to a video showing how stupid some (not all!) truck drivers can be .

Not worthy of its own thread.

Of course that bridge is tough. It's a Durham bridge (even if it's Durham N.C.)

I was standing in a bar at the Plaza yesterday while my wife was shopping and this little Chinese guy comes in, stands next to me and starts drinking a beer.

I said to him, "Do you know any of those martial arts things, like Kung-Fu, Karate or Ju-Jitsu?"

He says, "No, why the fluck you ask me dat, is it coz I Chinee?"

"No," I say, "it's because you're drinking my fu***ng beer you little pr**k."

Yes it is marked,signed, flashing lights etc so they should not be driving under it... but..... given the amount of damage it has caused and the potential for seriously injuring or killing someone wouldn't it be time to increase the clearance, raise the bridge and/or lower the road ? Perhaps they have to wait until a bus load of school kids get caught up in a crash. Worst case scenario would be a train load of LPG or such coming of the rails due to a crash.

Searched for maximum truck hight in the USA



It would seem an extra 25" would solve most problems.

has her practical head on this m/ing saying " what engineer would build a bridge that high without checking out the hight of wagon's first ."

Does she buy a New Bra, then measure herself