Talk Morgan Forums Community The Malvern Arms Tongue in cheek Friday humour

After some of the more risqué ones of late, here's one that Dean can tell his daughter....

I found myself drowning in an ocean
of orange soda yesterday.
It took me a while to work out it was
just a Fanta sea.

[quote=pandy]After some of the more risqué ones of late, here's one that Dean can tell his daughter....

I found myself drowning in an ocean
of orange soda yesterday.
It took me a while to work out it was
just a Fanta sea.

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نور اگر رفت سايه پيدا نيست نقش ديوار و چشم خيره ما نقش سايه دگر

If I hear anything else, I'll let you know.

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds."
I bought her some bathroom scales.
And then the fight started......

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.

'In honor of this holy season' Saint Peter said, 'You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.'

The man fromNova Scotiafumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. 'It represents a candle', he said.

'You may pass through the pearly gates' Saint Peter said.

The man fromSaskatchewanreached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, 'They're bells.'

Saint Peter said 'You may pass through the pearly gates'.

The Newfoundlander started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.

St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, 'And just what do those symbolize?'


The Newfie replied, 'These are Carols.'

And So The Christmas Season
Begins......

You just made one little 9 yr old very happy

Students in an advanced Biology class were taking their mid-term exam. The last question was, 'Name seven advantages of Mother's Milk.’ The question was worth 70 points or none at all.

One student, in particular, was hard put to think of seven advantages. However, he wrote:

1) It is perfect formula for the child.
2) It provides immunity against several diseases.
3) It is always the right temperature.
4) It is inexpensive.
5) It bonds the child to mother, and vice versa.
6) It is always available as needed.

And then the student was stuck. Finally, in desperation,
just before the bell rang indicating the end of the test, he wrote:

7) It comes in two attractive containers and it's high enough off the ground where the cat can't get it.

He got an A.

Tony Blair and David Cameron somehow ended up at the same barber shop.

As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken.

The barbers were both afraid to start a conversation, for fear it
would turn to politics.

As the barbers finished their shaves, the one who had Blair in his chair reached for the aftershave.

Blair was quick to stop him jokingly saying, "No thanks, my
wife, Cherie, will smell that and think I've been in a brothel."

The second barber turned to Cameron and said, "How about you" Mr.Cameron?"

Cameron replied, "Go ahead, my wife doesn't know what the inside of a brothel smells like".

Reminds me of one of the medical students I shared a house with as a student, who when faced with a question about the 10 basic functions of the liver and finding he was 1 short, included a recipe for a liver casserole.