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Aug 24th, 2023
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Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 8,014
Posting Desperado Talk Morgan Guru
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Posting Desperado Talk Morgan Guru
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 8,014 |
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Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 8,646
Needs to Get Out More!
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Needs to Get Out More!
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 8,646 |
The 3 stages of man.....
He believes in Father Xmas
He doesn't believe in Father Xmas
He IS Father Xmas
Giles. Mogless in Paris.
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Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 4,491 Likes: 65
Part of the Furniture
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Part of the Furniture
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 4,491 Likes: 65 |
2021 Lapis Blue Plus 6  You know it makes sense!  2016 Carmine Red 991.2 C4S
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Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 8,646
Needs to Get Out More!
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Needs to Get Out More!
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 8,646 |
Oh and another one for Dean's little girl....
What do you call a Snowman in the summer ?
a puddle
Giles. Mogless in Paris.
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Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 35,773 Likes: 468
Tricky Dicky Member of the Inner Circle
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OP
Tricky Dicky Member of the Inner Circle
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 35,773 Likes: 468 |
Nice Giles Another your daughter may like Dean. Friends, colleagues (+others) wishing you the Seasons Greetings American style. Richard & Heather xx (where appropriate) Be sure to read the instructions on the picture for the full experience! click this link: http://ecard.ashland.edu/index.php?ecardYear=2004adm
Last edited by 4/4sportsfun; 17/12/12 06:25 AM.
2009 4/4 Henrietta
1999 Indigo Blue +8
2009 4/4 Sport Green prev
1993 Connaught Green +8 prev
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Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 8,646
Needs to Get Out More!
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Needs to Get Out More!
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 8,646 |
I rather liked Mick Jagger's advice to aspiring rockers in the Sunday Times yesterday.
"Be considerate of other hotel guests - trash your room by 10pm"
Giles. Mogless in Paris.
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Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 8,646
Needs to Get Out More!
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Needs to Get Out More!
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 8,646 |
Only just looked at this one. Brilliant. Almost in the same league as the 4 candles/fork handles sketch.
Giles. Mogless in Paris.
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Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 8,646
Needs to Get Out More!
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Needs to Get Out More!
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 8,646 |
Nice one Richard
I don't know what it is this year; only a week to go until Christmas and it still doesn't feel very christmassy to me yet. This sort of thing helps of course.
Giles. Mogless in Paris.
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Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 26,747 Likes: 419
Member of the Inner Circle
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Member of the Inner Circle
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 26,747 Likes: 419 |
Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it... Don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: Oh no. Wine made from fruit. Fruit very good. Brandy distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Grain good too. Bottom up!
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one. If you have two body, your ratio two to one.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of one, sorry. My philosophy: No pain...good!
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food fried in vegetable oil. How getting more vegetable be bad?
Q : Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Oh no! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach.
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: You crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around!
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming good for figure, explain whale to me.
Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is shape!
Well... I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.
And remember:
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ride!!"
AND.....
For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.
1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits.
4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits.
5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits.
CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like.Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
JohnV6
2022 CX Plus Four
2025 MG ZS EV aka Trigger
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Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 1,242
Has a lot to Say!
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Has a lot to Say!
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 1,242 |
Christmas Q + A Jokes are here again !!! Q: What do you call a bunch of grandmasters of chess bragging about their games in a hotel lobby? A: Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer! :santa3: 
Graham
Waking up is a good start to the day !!
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