Talk Morgan Forums Community The Malvern Arms Tongue in cheek Friday humour

Very droll.

A Long Happy Marriage !!


An elderly lady was invited to an old friend's home for dinner one evening.She was impressed by the way her lady friend preceded every
request to her husband with endearing terms
such as: Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, etc. The couple had been married almost 70 years. Clearly,
they were still very much in love.

While the husband was in the living room, her lady friend leaned over to her hostess to say, "I think it's wonderful that, after all these
years, you still call your husband all those loving names."

The elderly lady hung her head, "I have to tell you the truth," she
said, "his name slipped my mind about 10 years ago, and I'm scared to
death to ask the cranky old a88hole what his name is."

As for the chatty sharp little girl from nursery I suppose you have her in A Class !. ( Mercedes )

You got to love this guy...

This is a true story about a recent
wedding that took place at Clemson University .

It was in the local newspaper and even
Jay Leno mentioned it.

It was a huge wedding with about 300 guests.

After the wedding, at the reception, the groom got up on stage

with a microphone to talk to the crowd.
He said he wanted to thank
everyone for coming, many from
long distances, to support them
at their wedding.



He especially wanted to thank the bride and his family and to thank his new father-in-law for providing such a lavish reception.

As a token of his deep appreciation
he said he wanted to give everyone
a special gift just from him.

So taped to the bottom of
everyone's chair, including the wedding party was an envelope.

He said this was his gift to
everyone, and asked them to
open their envelope.

Inside each manila envelope was an 8x10 glossy

of his bride having sex with the best man.

The groom had gotten suspicious
of them weeks earlier and had
hired a private detective to tail
them.

After just standing there, just watching the guests' reactions
for a couple of minutes, he
turned to the best man and
said, 'Farewell to you!' Then he turned
to his bride and said, 'Farewell to you!'

Then he turned to the
dumbfounded crowd and said,
'I'm outta here.'

He had the marriage annulled
first thing the following morning.

While most people would have canceled the wedding
immediately after finding out
about the affair, this
guy goes through with the
charade, as if nothing were wrong.

His revenge--making the bride's parents pay over $32,000 for a
300-guest wedding and reception, and best of all, trashing the
bride's and best man's reputations
in front of 300 friends and family members.

Do you think we might get a MasterCard 'priceless'
commercial out of this?

Elegant wedding reception
for 300 family members and
friends: $32,000.

Wedding photographs co mm emorating the Occasion: $3,000

Deluxe two-week
honeymoon accommodations in Maui : $8,500.

The look on everyone's face
when they see the 8x10 glossy
of the bride humping the best man: Priceless.

There are some things money
can't buy, for everything else
there's MASTERCARD



A Mastercard Wedding

'Life isn't like a bowl
of cherries or peaches,

it's more like a jar of Jalapenos--

what you do today,

might burn your ass tomorrow......'

"Have you ever seen a twenty pound note all crumpled up?" asked the wife.

No," I said.

She gave me a sexy little smile,slowly reached into her cleavage and
pulled out a crumpled twenty pound note.

"Have you ever seen a fifty pound note all crumpled up?" she asked.



"No," I said.

She gave me another sexy little smile,seductively reached into her
knickers and pulled out a crumpled fifty pound note.

"Now," she said, "have you ever seen £30,000 all crumpled up?"

"No," I said, intrigued.

"Well, go and take a quick look in the garage."

Roses are Red
Violets are glorious
Just don't creep up on
Oscar Pistorious!!

Congratulations - that's the first joke I've heard on this subject, and it's top notch.

See Pistorius is due in court tomorrow......the Guy hasn't got a LEG to stand on.

http://live-blog.uk.msn.com/Event/Oscar_Pistorius_shoots_girlfriend_dead?ocid=binganswers

Apparently its got the police completely stumped

Let's hope he doesn't do a runner.