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Hi all! A Roadster owner local to me is shortly to celebrate his 70th. birthday and a friend has been given the task of making a speech at his party.
Do any of you know of any Morgan jokes that may be suitable?,preferably clean!
Thanks in advance!

Well that rules me out then .



preferably clean!
Thanks in advance! [/quote]

+1

How about the one where there was a Cadillac a Volvo and a Morgan all sitting in the pub car park ?

Sorry just seemed like a good start

The Volvo said 'My owner treats me well, he is a nice hard working person if not a little unimaginative

The Cadillac puffed himself up and said my owner is very wealthy or thinks he is and likes to PARTY

The Mogan stayed very quiet and eventually the other two said come on what's your owner like

The Morgan replied well he is .....

over to you guys Digimap and me have done the hard work

Got one for you and yes its CLEAN .
Write it up later for you.

In the mean while I will have to stop reading T.M. late at night I go to bed thinking of Mogs. Well what else can a man have on his mind that has a stunning body to look at and touch , cant wait to get his hands on , wants to have his wicked way with , cost's him a packet to keep , and brags to his mates down the pub how she performed last night down some country lane that no one has heard of.

This was in Miscellany in the late 1980s

A chap from from Lincs ( I think ) was visiting his pal both had mogs .
He told his wife he would be home for 6pm around 9pm he said got to go the wife will kill me .
He set off on a long trip home as he was in another county ( forgot which ) As he was going down a country lane at a fair old speed a motor bike light was in his mirror and coming up fast .
He thought its the police I have had it , they came alongside and the riders arm pointed for him to stop .
He pulled into the side and got out . Two on the bike the one in control of the bike got off followed by the passenger . Pulled off their helmets and spoke .
It was two Germans a man and woman , and not English police as he thought .
The man said he needed the bushes and went off .
The German girl asked what make of car was it .
A Morgan she got excited and was overjoyed . But why does your bonnet have no louvers in it . Oh it's just the way it came not a lot like that he said.
She said to him I am going to tell you something but dont tell my boyfriend . We are on holiday he is a mechanic and he said to me . " If we see an English car you know the name of and I do not , I will marry you. " We saw your car he said MG because of your bonnet and I said I will tell you in the Morgan ( meaning in the morning in German ) He thought I said Morgan as in car make . Please dont tell him . Out came the chap from the bushes . "What make is it ", a Morgan , why does the bonnet not have any louvers . " Its just a rare one and came that way. He turned to his girl friend and said " I SUPPOSE I WILL HAVE TO MARRY YOU NOW " .
They said goodbye but before they climbed on the bike the German girl grabbed the mog owner and planted a huge kiss on his face . Off they shot.
The mog owner climbed back into his mog and thought oh well just anther odd or normal thing for a mog owner , the wifes going to kill me for being this late .
Arrived home more near midnight instead of 6pm stuck the car in the garage and went in the house his wife sitting waiting . Hello love you are never going to guess what happened to me tonight .


WHATS THAT LIPSTICK DOING ON YOUR FACE .

was her reply .

A morgan owner was under the smoking bonnet of his car when a drunk staggered past.
"Wassermarrer?" said the drunk
The Mog owner looked up sadly and said "Piston broke!"
"So am I!" replied the drunk

The old ones are the best>

Fantastic

Or the Mog owner who really enjoyed his trip to Germany, as everywhere he went people said Guten Morgen to him.