Talk Morgan Forums Community The Malvern Arms Tongue in cheek Friday humour

My wife liked that!

The Internet never fails to amaze me.

I was sent that Youtube link to Peter Kay overnight separately by friends in Tasmania & Queensland.

It must make life hard for stand up comics as the jokes are out there - and everywhere on the net before they get a chance to tell them a second time.

How many times have you been to a function to be told a story you've already read in an email?

Peter Kay is a gem. Hope to see & hear more of him.

Cheers!

In defence of Andrews who will not turn 79 for another couple of years
http://www.snopes.com/humor/iftrue/andrews.asp

More Peter Kay... I think this is hilarious.... Warning strong language.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KsTwBCZP0QE&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Morgan had their latest prototype Plus4 at Prescott yesterday. Its really all meant to be kept under wraps until Charles makes an announcement later this week but they have at long last solved the problems of the cracked windscreens.

PS. I gave the owner of this car a ride up the hill........he got in using the top of the windscreen as a support. Luckily mine is already cracked!

He then told me that it was the accepted method of getting in and out of a Spartan!!

There were two Nuns...

One of them was known as sister Mathematical (SM), and the other one known as Sister Logical (SL).

It was getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.


SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants.


SL: It's logical. He wants to rape us.


SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most! What can we do?


SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.


SM: It's not working.


SL: Of course it's not working . The man did the logical thing. He started to walk faster, too.


SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in a minute.


SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both.

So the man decided to follow Sister Logical .

Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried about what has happened to Sister Logical .

Then Sister Logical arrives...

SM: Sister Logical ! Thank God you are here! Tell me what happened!

SL: The only logical thing happened . The man couldn't follow both, so he followed me.

SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?

SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could.

SM: And?

SL: The only logical thing happened. He reached me.

SM: Oh, dear! What did you do?

SL: The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up.

SM: Oh, Sister! What did the man do?

SL: The only logical thing to do.. He pulled down his pants.

SM: Oh, no! What happened then?

SL: Isn't it logical, Sister?
A nun with her dress up can run faster
than a man with his pants down.



And for those of you who thought it would be dirty,


Say three Hail Marys!

I was working in Tesco, rearranging the boxes of soap powder in aisle 7 when who should walk in but the young lady I pulled yesterday at the airshow.

She said "Oi, you told me you were a stunt pilot, you lying git."

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I replied, “No. I told you I was part of the Ariel display team!”

A doctor on TV said, to have inner peace, we should always finish things we start & we will all have more calm in our lives.

I looked around my house to find things I'd started & hadn't finished, so I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Chardonnay, a bodle of Jin, a butle of wum, tha mainder of Valiuminun scriptins, an a boks a chocletz
Yu haf no idr how fablus I fel rite now

Sned this to al who ned inner piss . An telum u luvum!