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Joined: Sep 2011
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My body

If my body were a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model. I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish, and my paint job is getting a little dull. But that's not the worst of it.
  • My headlights are out of focus, and it's especially hard to see things up close.
  • My traction is not as graceful as it once was. I slip and slide and skid and bump into things even in the best of weather.
  • My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins. It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed. My fuel rate burns inefficiently.
    But here's the very worst of it:
  • Almost every time I sneeze, cough or laugh, either my radiator leaks or my exhaust backfires.


Peter

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D
Gone to Porsche
Part of the Furniture
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Sounds like you are all AUSTIN 7. Peter wink


www.generalpaint.biz/color.php Problem with your Colour, we offer TM members impartial advice.
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+8Rich Offline OP
Tricky Dicky
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Tricky Dicky
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Weather Conditions

Just got off the phone with a friend who lives in Regina Saskatchewan.
She said that since early this morning the snow has been nearly waist high and is still falling.. The temperature is 32 below zero and the north wind is increasing to near gale force. Wind chill is -59.
Her husband has done nothing but look through the kitchen window and just stare.

She says that if it gets much worse,
she may have to let the drunken b astard in.


2009 4/4 Sport Henrietta
1999 Indigo Blue +8
2009 4/4 Sport Green prev
1993 Con Green +8 prev





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Salty Sea Dog
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Salty Sea Dog
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rofl


Graham (G4FUJ)

Sold L44FOR 4/4 Giallo Fly
'11 MINI Countryman Cooper D All4
'90 LR 90 SW
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Learner Plates Off!
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Learner Plates Off!
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Posts: 425
Someone mentioned that, to make the perfect cup of tea, I should agitate the bag.

So I told her to get off her fat a*se and put the kettle on.


John
2015 Plus 4 (GDI) Sport Green
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Originally Posted By athelstan
Someone mentioned that, to make the perfect cup of tea, I should agitate the bag.

So I told her to get off her fat a*se and put the kettle on.


smile

That's along the lines of....

I had to buy some dishwasher tablets the other day.....my wife had a headache.


Richard
1976 4/4 4 Seater
Joined: Apr 2011
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Posting Desperado
Talk Morgan Guru
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J
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You OZ lads wash your dishes in bed .!!!!!! laugh2

That's along the lines of....

I had to buy some dishwasher tablets the other day.....my wife had a headache. [/quote]

Joined: Jul 2007
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I have a whole bunch on NZ jokes based around sheep. Best left unsaid to save the moderators time.
banghead hide


JohnV6
2022 CX Plus Four
2025 Renault Scenic Alpine etech "Yvette"
Joined: Aug 2008
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Talk Morgan Expert
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A wealthy Arab Sheik was admitted to hospital for heart surgery, but prior to the surgery, the doctors needed to store his type of blood in case the need arose.

As the gentleman had a rare type of blood, it couldn't be found locally, so, the call went out.

Finally a Scotsman was located who had a similar blood type. The Scot willingly donated his blood for the Arab.

After the surgery, the Arab sent the Scotsman in appreciation for giving his blood, a new BMW, 5 carats of diamonds, and $50,000 dollars.

A couple of days later, once again, the Arab had to go through a corrective surgery.

The hospital telephoned the Scotsman who was more than happy to donate more of his blood again.

After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Scotsman a thank-you card and a box of Black Magic chocolates.

The Scotsman was shocked that the Arab did not reciprocate his kind gesture as he had before.

He phoned the Arab and asked him: "I thought you would be generous again, that you would give me another BMW, diamonds and money ... but you only gave me a thank-you card and a box of chocolates."

To this the Arab replied: "Aye laddie, but I now have Scottish blood in ma veins".


1972 4/4 2 Seater
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Very good smile


Richard
1976 4/4 4 Seater
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