Talk Morgan Forums Community The Malvern Arms Tongue in cheek Friday humour

Graham -- on the same theme

Did you hear of the Irish bloke who wanted to be buried at sea??.............12 were drowned digging the grave!!! Boom, Boom!!

One has to have a sense of Humour!!

Nice one Robbie!

If we're going to do Irish jokes, this one's my favorite......

Paddy is working on a building site as a labourer for a chippy. They're up on the 3rd floor and the chippy asks Paddy to pop down & bring him up a joist. Paddy is gone for ages, and after about an hour and a half reappears dragging a huge steel girder. The exasperated chippy asks "For f**k's sake Paddy, don't you know the difference between joist and girder" ?

Paddy scratches his head and replies...............











......"Aah, well now. Joyce was the fella that was wroitin' Ulysses, and Goethe was yer maun that was wroitin' Faust".

Paddy went for a job on the building site as a Handy Man, when interviewed by the Forman he was asked
Can you mix cement ? No
Can you drive Dumper Truck ? No
Can you carry bricks and stack em ? No

Forman ask what's handy about you ?

Paddy replies

I live just across the road

Paddy and Mick are coming in to land, Mick says to Paddy "this is the widest runway I've ever seen"; Paddy replies "Aye but it's the shortest"

To all the beautiful girls out there Happy Valentines Day ......And to all the fat birds, chin up it's pancake day next week !

[video:youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfz3XKtB9-c[/video]

Just in case you are like me, someone that sings along with the radio this maybe of interest ......

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Yn-2YuWMUo

Football boots



A Woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work.

Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them, and hides in the
bedroom cupboard to watch.

Just after getting into bed the woman's husband also comes home
unexpectedly, she tells her lover to hide in the cupboard, not realising
that the little boy is in there.

After a while the little boy says, 'Dark in here'.

The man, who obviously got a real fright not expecting to hear anything, let
alone from a little boy says, 'Yes, it is.'

Boy - 'I have a football.'

Man - 'That's nice.'

Boy - 'Want to buy it?'

Man - 'No, thanks.'

Boy - 'My dad's outside.'

Man - 'OK, how much?'

Boy - £125

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in
the cupboard together.

Boy - 'Dark in here.'

Man - 'Yes, it is.'

Boy - 'I have football boots.'

The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, 'OK How much this time?'

Boy - £375

Man - 'Sold.'

A few days later, the boy's father says to the boy, 'Grab your boots and
football, let's go outside and have a game of footy'.

The boy says, 'I can't, I sold my ball and boots.' The father asks, 'How
much did you sell them for and to who?'

The boy says, 'To a friend of mine for a £500

The father says, 'That's a terrible thing to do, overcharging your friend
like that.
That's four times what they cost when they were new, I'm going to take you
to church and make you confess your terrible sins.'

They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the
confession booth and he closes the door.

The boy says, 'Dark in here'.......

The priest says, 'Don't start that dermot again you little prick, you're in my
cupboard now!!'

Dermot?