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Old Book
by Morganmike - 21/09/26 07:54 PM
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Jun 14th, 2026
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Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 209
OXR 5 L - Learner Plates On
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OXR 5 L - Learner Plates On
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 209 |
A tough old sheep farmer from Scotland gave some good advice to his granddaughter.
He told her that the secret to a long life was to sprinkle a pinch of gunpowder on her porridge every morning. The granddaughter followed this advise religiously until her death at the venerable age of 103.
She left behind 14 children, 30 grandchildren, 45 great grandchildren, 25 great great grandchildren and a forty foot hole where the crematorium used to be.
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 14,976 Likes: 2
Member of the Inner Circle
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Member of the Inner Circle
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 14,976 Likes: 2 |
Richard
1976 4/4 4 Seater
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Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 37,499 Likes: 996
Tricky Dicky Member of the Inner Circle
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OP
Tricky Dicky Member of the Inner Circle
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 37,499 Likes: 996 |
A tough old sheep farmer from Scotland gave some good advice to his granddaughter.
He told her that the secret to a long life was to sprinkle a pinch of gunpowder on her porridge every morning. The granddaughter followed this advise religiously until her death at the venerable age of 103.
She left behind 14 children, 30 grandchildren, 45 great grandchildren, 25 great great grandchildren and a forty foot hole where the crematorium used to be.
I'm liking this a lot......... 
2009 4/4 Sport Henrietta
1999 Indigo Blue +8
2009 4/4 Sport Green prev
1993 Con Green +8 prev
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Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 7,342 Likes: 49
Talk Morgan Guru
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Talk Morgan Guru
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 7,342 Likes: 49 |
A Morgan Identified Fastidious Owner...
2011 4/4 Bespoke, 1981 Delorean, Auburn Boat Tail
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Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 37,499 Likes: 996
Tricky Dicky Member of the Inner Circle
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OP
Tricky Dicky Member of the Inner Circle
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 37,499 Likes: 996 |
UK HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR 2030
Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions.
White minorities still trying to have English recognised as the UK 's third language.
Children from two-parent, married, heterosexual families bullied in schools for being 'different'....... Tolerance urged.
Manchester schoolgirl expelled for not wearing a Burqa.
Japan announces that they will no longer consume whale meat as whales are now extinct, and the scientific research fleet are unemployed. UKGovernment has told the Japanese that Grey Squirrels taste like whale meat.
Britain now has ten Universities of Political Correctness.
Professor Goldman of LUPC says there is still a long way to go in the fight to stop people saying what they think.
Britain 's deficit £10 trillion and rising. Government declares return to surplus in 100 years which is 300 years ahead of time.
Prime Minister Mohammed Yousuf claims increased growth through more immigration is the secret to success.
Baby conceived naturally. Scientists stumped.
Iran still isolated. Physicists estimate at least ten more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
France pleads for global help after being taken over by Islamic Countries.
No other country comes forward.
Jose Manuel Rodrigez Bush says he will run for second term as US President in 2032.
Post Office raises price of stamps to £18 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.
After a ten-year, £75.8 billion study commissioned by the Labour Party, scientists prove diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.
Average weight of a British male drops to 18 stone.
Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil and human rights. Victims to be held partly responsible for crime.
Average height of professional basketball players is now nine feet, seven inches.
New law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2035 as lethal weapons.
Inland Revenue sets lowest tax rate in decades at 75 per cent.
Bradford Muslim City win FA Cup Final,
beating Halifax Hindu Hornets 4-0
Apologies in advance to you Giles.
Last edited by 4/4sportsfun; 09/08/14 05:29 AM.
2009 4/4 Sport Henrietta
1999 Indigo Blue +8
2009 4/4 Sport Green prev
1993 Con Green +8 prev
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Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 1,299
Has a lot to Say!
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Has a lot to Say!
Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 1,299 |
 2013 M3W # 793 'Mosquito'
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Joined: Jan 2012
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Member of the Inner Circle
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Member of the Inner Circle
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Many a true word spoken in jest!
Richard
1976 4/4 4 Seater
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Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 37,499 Likes: 996
Tricky Dicky Member of the Inner Circle
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OP
Tricky Dicky Member of the Inner Circle
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 37,499 Likes: 996 |
2009 4/4 Sport Henrietta
1999 Indigo Blue +8
2009 4/4 Sport Green prev
1993 Con Green +8 prev
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Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 8,646
Needs to Get Out More!
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Needs to Get Out More!
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 8,646 |
I was expecting the one for France to be "Income tax rate for anyone not a functionary of the state raised to 120%. Employers guilty until proven innocent".
Oh, hang on, the second one is already true.
Giles. Mogless in Paris.
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Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 14,751 Likes: 158
Member of the Inner Circle
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Member of the Inner Circle
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 14,751 Likes: 158 |
I was expecting the one for France to be "Income tax rate for anyone not a functionary of the state raised to 120%. Employers guilty until proven innocent".
Oh, hang on, the second one is already true. To reduce unemployment the working week will be reduced to 10 hours on full pay and all businesses must employ one person for every sq. metre of space occupied. Dismissal of employees for any reason is not permitted and employees will have unlimited sick leave without doctor's certificates and can take their 6 months of paid leave at any time of the year.
Peter ![[Linked Image]](http://bradley.it/public_images/drive.jpg)
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Ouch ! Richard ... could be headlines in the colonies as well ... 
