Talk Morgan Forums Community The Malvern Arms Tongue in cheek Friday humour

These will offend almost everyone....
but probably only a few here..

Now on sale at IKEA - beds for lesbians:
No nuts or screwing involved,
It’s all tongue and groove.


A Muslim has been shot with a starting pistol;
Police say it's definitely race related.


Due to a water shortage in Ireland,
Dublin swimming baths have announced that they are closing lanes 7 and 8.


I got a letter from Screw Fix Direct thanking me for my interest,
but explaining they were not a dating agency.


Such an unfair world.
When a man talks dirty to a woman it’s considered sexual harassment.
When a woman talks dirty to a man it costs £2.50/min (charges may vary)


Got stopped in the street outside Boots today by a woman with a clipboard asking "What products do I use for grooming?"
She was a bit taken aback when I replied, "Facebook".


Met a beautiful girl down at the park today.
Sparks flew, she fell at my feet and we ended up having sex there and then.
God, I love my new Taser!


Got a new Jack Russell pup today, he’s mainly black and brown with just a small white area so I've called him Bradford.

If you get an email telling you that you can catch Swine Flu from tins of ham then delete it.
It's Spam.


They say that sex is the best form of exercise.
Now correct me if I'm wrong but I don't think 2 minutes and 15 seconds every 6 months is going to shift this beer belly.

Smiled at everyone!

Made me laugh too

All great for the grin factor

I am not sure its you Peter I had you down as virgin white and you come out with naughty things . Must be that +8 effected your mind Hope to hell I dont buy one

It could have an interesting effect....
You see what it has done to me!

Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts, absolutely...!!

Time for a second helping...

A foursome of golfers, all in their 40's, discussed where they should meet for lunch.
Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Hooters because the waitresses were young, good looking, had big breasts and wore short-shorts.


Ten years later, at age 50, the golfing buddies once again discussed where they should meet for lunch.
Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Hooters because the food and service was good, they had many televisions to watch the games on, and the beer selection was excellent.


Ten years later, at age 60, the foursome again discussed where they should meet for lunch.
Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Hooters because there was plenty of parking, they could dine in peace, and it was good value for the money.


Ten years later, at age 70, they discussed where they should meet for lunch.
Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Hooters because the restaurant was wheelchair accessible and had a toilet for the disabled.


Ten years later, at age 80, the remaining three friends, no longer golfers, discussed where they should meet for lunch.
Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Hooters because they couldn't remember ever having been there before.

Absolute power corrupts absolutely, so we are talking about our 's. I am off not brave enough to go into that. scares the hell out of me got to take her to that other car club tonight .

Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts, absolutely...!!
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Love to see face if she were to come home from work and I had parked the Mog in the living room.

Although I would be seeing the rolling pin shortly after.

Facebook image.