Talk Morgan Forums Community The Malvern Arms Tongue in cheek Friday humour

+1

Now for a bit of culture:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xsRNDo8Upys

China crisis avoided.....

Priceless...

But logical!!

Business Man in 1st Class, to a Sexy Gorgeous Air Hostess:

Business Man: What is your name?


Hostess: Angela Benz, Sir!

Business Man: Lovely name, any relation to Mercedes Benz?
Hostess: Yes Sir, very close.

Business Man: How close?
Hostess: Same price!

Check for Alzheimer's -------

The following was developed as a mental age assessment by the School of Psychiatry at Harvard University Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake.

1. This is this cat.
2. This is is cat.
3. This is how cat.
4. This is to cat.
5. This is keep cat.
6. This is an cat.
7. This is old cat.
8. This is fart cat.
9. This is busy cat.
10. This is for cat.
11. This is forty cat.
12. This is seconds cat.
Now go back and read the third word in each line from the top down and I betcha' you cannot resist passing it on..........!

This test is to ascertain your mental state now. If you get one right you are doing ok, if you get none right you better go for counselling. (I'll meet you there.)



Giraffe Test


There are 4 questions. Don’t miss one.

1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?Stop and think about it and decide on your answer before you scroll down.









The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.



2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?









Did you say, Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant, and close the refrigerator? Wrong Answer.
Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your previous actions.





3. The Lion King is hosting an Animal Conference. All the animals attend ...except one. Which animal does not attend?





Correct Answer : The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You just put him in there. This tests your memory.





Okay, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your true abilities.




4. There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat. How do you manage it?













Correct Answer:? You jump into the river and swim across. Haven’t you been lis-ten-ing? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Conference. This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes.



According to Anderson Consulting Worldwide, around 90% of the Retirees they tested got all questions wrong, but many preschoolers got several correct answers. Anderson Consulting says this conclusively proves the theory that most Retirees do not have the brains of a four-year-old.






PS: Just the fact that I sent it to you should make you feel good

Two middle East mothers are sitting in a cafe chatting over
a plate of tabouli and a pint of goat's milk.

The older of the two pulls a small folder out of her handbag
and starts flipping through photos. They start reminiscing.

''This is my oldest son, Mujibar. He would have been 24 years
old now.''

''Yes, I remember him as a baby.'' says the other mother
cheerfully.

"He's a martyr now though." the mother confides.

"Oh, so sad dear...'' says the other.

''And this is my second son, Khalid. He would have
been 21.''

''Oh, I remember him,'' says the other happily, ''he had
such curly hair when he was born.''

''He's a martyr too...'' says the mother quietly.

''Oh, gracious me...'' says the other.

''And this is my third son. My baby. My beautiful Ahmed.
He would have been 18 '', she whispers.

"Yes," says the friend enthusiastically, ''I remember
when he first started school...''

''He's a martyr also,'' says the mother, with tears in
her eyes.

After a pause and a deep sigh, the second Muslim
mother looks wistfully at the photographs and, searching
for the right words, says . . .



"They blow up so fast, don't they?"