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Aug 24th, 2023
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Joined: Jan 2012
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Member of the Inner Circle
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Member of the Inner Circle
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Richard
1976 4/4 4 Seater
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Joined: Oct 2014
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Charter Member
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Charter Member
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An Englishman, an Irishman, a Scotsman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, an Americans, an Argentinian, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovakian, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, a Uzbeki, a Cypriot, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, a Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uraguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, a Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a Virgin Islander, a Georgian, a Bahamanian, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Kyrgyzstani, a Jamaican, a Filipino, a Ukrainian, a Dutchman, a Taiwanese, an Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian and a South African all walked into a posh French restaurant and the maitre d' said, "Sorry messieurs, but I cannot let you in wizzout a Thai." What a lousy place! They did not care that there was no Austrian with the group! 
Hannes
once: Green M3W; 2013
now: Red 4/4 Sport; 2011
and some practical cars for use in real life
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Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 8,014
Posting Desperado Talk Morgan Guru
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Posting Desperado Talk Morgan Guru
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 8,014 |
A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow .
Suddenly, the horse falls into a mud hole and starts to sink.
The horse yells at the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety.
The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can't be found .
So, the chicken gets into the farmer's Mercedes and drives it as fast as possible back to the mud hole.
Wasting no time, the chicken ties a rope around the bumper, and then tosses the other end of the rope to the horse.
As the horse hangs on for dear life , the chicken drives the car forward , and saves the horse from sinking.
A few days later, the chicken and the horse are playing in the same meadow again.
This time, the chicken falls into the mud hole.
The chicken yells to the horse to hurry and get the farmer, or the farmer's Mercedes .
The horse then says,
"Wait, I think I can stand over the mud hole!"
So, he stretches over the width of the hole and says to the chicken,
"Reach up and grab my "thingy",
and pull yourself up!!!"
the chicken did so,
And pulled herself to safety.
The Moral of the Story:
If you are hung like a horse ,
you don't need a Mercedes to pick up chicks.
Last edited by Jack The Lad; 26/07/15 10:53 PM.
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Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 11,610 Likes: 43
Wave & smile... It's a Morgan Member of the Inner Circle
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Wave & smile... It's a Morgan Member of the Inner Circle
Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 11,610 Likes: 43 |
2008 XXVII Platform, Bugatti Blue Roadster 4 Seater
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 14,976 Likes: 1
Member of the Inner Circle
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Member of the Inner Circle
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 14,976 Likes: 1 |
 +1
Richard
1976 4/4 4 Seater
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Joined: May 2014
Posts: 131
L - Learner Plates On
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L - Learner Plates On
Joined: May 2014
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How the Greek Bailout works.....
It is a slow day in a little Greek Village.
The rain is beating down and the streets are deserted. Times are tough, everybody is in debt, and everybody lives on credit.
On this particular day a rich German tourist is driving through the village, stops at the local hotel and lays a €100 note on the desk, telling the hotel owner he wants to inspect the rooms upstairs in order to pick one room in which to spend the night.
The owner gives him some keys and, as soon as the visitor has walked upstairs, the hotelier grabs the €100 note and runs next door to pay his debt to the butcher.
The butcher takes the €100 note and runs down the street to repay his debt to the pig farmer.
The pig farmer takes the €100 note and heads off to pay his bill at the supplier of feed and fuel.
The guy at the Farmers' Co-op takes the €100 note and runs to pay his drinks bill at the taverna.
The publican slips the money along to the local prostitute drinking at the bar, who has also been facing hard times and has had to offer him "services" on credit.
The hooker then rushes to the hotel and pays off her room bill to the hotel owner with the €100 note.
The hotel proprietor then places the €100 note back on the counter so the rich German will not suspect anything.
At that moment the German comes down the stairs, picks up the €100 note, states that the rooms are not satisfactory, pockets the money, and leaves town.
No one produced anything - No one earned anything - However, the whole village is now out of debt and looking to the future with a lot more optimism.
And that, Ladies and Gentlemen, is how the bailout package works.
Tony
Claret Red +4
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Joined: Apr 2013
Posts: 1,213
Has a lot to Say!
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Has a lot to Say!
Joined: Apr 2013
Posts: 1,213 |
Excellent 
Hugh
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Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 5,016 Likes: 3
Charter Member
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Charter Member
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 5,016 Likes: 3 |
And that, Ladies and Gentlemen, is how the bailout package works.
Very close to real live. But in reality the German does not get his money back I was told. 
Hannes
once: Green M3W; 2013
now: Red 4/4 Sport; 2011
and some practical cars for use in real life
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Joined: Aug 2013
Posts: 15,794 Likes: 14
Formerly known as Aldermog Member of the Inner Circle
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Formerly known as Aldermog Member of the Inner Circle
Joined: Aug 2013
Posts: 15,794 Likes: 14 |
I'm not sure if that should be in the humour section. It isn't funny.
Change the end so that it is:
The German comes back to find the note gone.
the hotellier apologises and calls the Police
The Police investigate and cannot help.
The German goes home, cross and swears never to go back to Greece.
Then it is 100% as it is.
Peter,
66, 2016 Porsche Boxster S
No longer driving Tarka, the 2014 Plus 8...
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Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 14,723 Likes: 149
Member of the Inner Circle
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Member of the Inner Circle
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 14,723 Likes: 149 |
You forgot to mention that the hotelier is now €100 richer, has resolved the debt problems of his village and increased the GVW (Gross Village Wealth) by a significant percentage 
Peter ![[Linked Image]](http://bradley.it/public_images/drive.jpg)
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