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Joined: Oct 2014
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Originally Posted By Gambalunga
Don't let your swmbo read that or it might make life even harder.
please - not the live!!!


Hannes
once: Green M3W; 2013
now: Red 4/4 Sport; 2011
and some practical cars for use in real life
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Salty Sea Dog
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Endless anxiety for those with OCD...

Attached Images
OCD.png (246.07 KB, 450 downloads)

Graham (G4FUJ)

Sold L44FOR 4/4 Giallo Fly
'09 Gen2 MINI Cooper ragtop
'90 LR 90 SW
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 266
Learner Plates Off!
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Learner Plates Off!
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Posts: 266
Originally Posted By Graham, G4FUJ
Endless anxiety for those with OCD...

i guess you mean obsessive compulsive disorder, not on chip debug system? Anyway: An artificial intelligence which was trained to recognise vertical lines in this certain case would fail in both regards ...


2015 4/4 "Chaplin" in black and white, usually strolling around at the german north sea shore
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From MogTalk today:

If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they’d eventually find me attractive.
I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom, until they’re flashing behind you.
Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool, so I gave him a glass of water.
I changed my password to “incorrect” so, whenever I forget it, the computer will say, “Your password is incorrect.”
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
I’m great at multi-tasking--- I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.
If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
Never tell your problems to anyone because 20% don’t care and the other 80% are glad you have them.
Doesn’t expecting the unexpected mean that the unexpected is actually expected?
Take my advice – I’m not using it.
My wife and I were happy for 20 years -- then we met.
I hate when people use big words just to make themselves sound perspicacious.
Hospitality is the art of making guests feel like they’re at home when you wish they were.
Television may insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.
I bought a vacuum cleaner six months ago and so far all it’s been doing is gathering dust.
Every time someone comes up with a foolproof solution, along comes a more-talented fool.
I’ll bet you $4,567 you can’t guess how much I owe my bookie.
Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
If you keep your feet firmly planted on the ground, you’ll have trouble putting on your pants.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
Ever stop to think and... forget to start again?
When I married Mrs. Right, I had no idea her first name was “Always”.
My wife got 8 out of 10 on her driver’s test – the other two guys managed to jump out of her way.
There may be no excuse for laziness, but I’m still looking.
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Is it wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly?
Women sometimes make fools of men, but most guys are the do-it-yourself types.
I was going to give him a nasty look, but he already had one.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
The grass may be greener on the other side, but at least you don’t have to mow it.
I like long walks, especially when they’re taken by people who annoy me.
I was going to wear my camouflage shirt today, but I couldn’t find it.
If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep.
If tomatoes are technically a fruit, is ketchup a smoothie?
Money is the root of all wealth.
No matter how hard you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.


Richard
1976 4/4 4 Seater
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 8,646
Needs to Get Out More!
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rofl

There are some crackers there. Thanks Richard.


Giles. Mogless in Paris.
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Formerly known as Aldermog
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If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman.
He was being cross-examined by a defence lawyer during a theft trial.
The lawyer was trying to undermine the police officer's credibility.....

Q: 'Officer --- did you see my client fleeing the scene?'

A: 'No, sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several streets away.'

Q: 'Officer, who provided this description?'

A: 'The officer who responded to the scene.'

Q: 'A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?'

A: 'Yes, sir. With my life.'

Q: 'With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?'

A: 'Yes sir, we do!'

Q: 'And do you have a locker in the room?'

A: 'Yes, sir, I do.'

Q: 'And do you have a lock on your locker?'

A: 'Yes, sir.'

Q: 'Now, why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?'

A: 'You see, sir, we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.'

The courtroom EXPLODED with laughter, and a prompt recess was called.
The officer on the stand has been nominated for this year's 'Best Comeback' line -- and we think he'll win.



Peter,
66, 2016 Porsche Boxster S
No longer driving Tarka, the 2014 Plus 8...

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Brilliant


JohnV6
2022 CX Plus Four
2025 MG ZS EV aka Trigger
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+8Rich Offline OP
Tricky Dicky
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Tricky Dicky
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Some of Victoria Woods funnies courtesy of todays Torygraph

1 I thought Coq au Vin was love in a lorry.

2 I once went to one of those parties where everyone throws their car keys into the middle of the room. I don’t know who got my moped but I’ve been driving that Peugeot for years.

3 I’ve got a degree; does that mean I have to spend my life with intellectuals? I’ve also got a life-saving certificate, but I don’t spend my evenings diving for a rubber brick with my pyjamas on.

4 My boyfriend had a sex manual but he was dyslexic. I was lying there and he was looking for my vinegar.

5 When I told jokes about cystitis, people would write in and say, “I’ve got cystitis and it isn’t funny,” so I would reply, “Well, send it back and ask for one that is.”

6 A man is designed to walk three miles in the rain to phone for help when the car breaks down, and a woman is designed to say, “You took your time” when he comes back dripping wet.

7 People think I hate sex. I don’t. I just don’t like things that stop you seeing the television properly.

8 A minor operation is one performed on somebody else.

9 The first day I met my producer, she said, “I’m a radical feminist lesbian.” I thought what would the Queen Mum do? So I just smiled and said, “We shall have fog by tea-time.”

10 Foreplay is like beefburgers – three minutes on each side.

We're going to miss her alright.


2009 4/4 Henrietta
1999 Indigo Blue +8
2009 4/4 Sport Green prev
1993 Connaught Green +8 prev





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+8Rich Offline OP
Tricky Dicky
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Tricky Dicky
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A friend sent me this today so I had to share it with you all



2009 4/4 Henrietta
1999 Indigo Blue +8
2009 4/4 Sport Green prev
1993 Connaught Green +8 prev





Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 209
T
TTC Offline
OXR 5
L - Learner Plates On
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OXR 5
L - Learner Plates On
T
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 209
An Aussie bloke holidays in Thailand and comes home with a lovely new wife.

A year later, a workmate asks him: “How’s that lovely new wife of yours?”

The bloke sadly replies: “She died recently, rather suddenly.”

“Mate, I’m sorry to hear that – what happened?”

“Prostate cancer.”


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