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Aug 24th, 2023
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Joined: May 2010
Posts: 9,285 Likes: 69
Needs to Get Out More!
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Needs to Get Out More!
Joined: May 2010
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Greek History
2500 years ago a slave call girl from Sardinia named Gedophamee (pronounced Get-offa'-me) was attending the first athletic festival in Greece . This festival had no name.
In those days the athletes performed naked.
To prevent unwanted arousal while competing, the men imbibed freely on a drink, containing saltpetre before and throughout the variety of events.
At the opening ceremonial parade of this first great event, Gedophamee observed the first wave of naked athletic males marching toward her and she exclaimed:"Oh! Limp pricks!"
Over the next two and a half millennia that expression morphed into "Olympics".
Just thought I'd share this new found knowledge with you.
Tony And there was me thinking it was the ancient Greek journalists reporting on the Games at Olympia and adding etchings to their proclamation scrolls..... Hence Olym pics! 
Plus Four MY23 Furka Rouge
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Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 209
OXR 5 L - Learner Plates On
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OXR 5 L - Learner Plates On
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 209 |
At a wedding ceremony, the Vicar asked if anyone had
anything to say concerning the union of the bride and groom.
It was their time to stand up and talk, or forever hold their peace.
The moment of utter silence was broken by a young, beautiful woman
carrying a child.
She started walking toward the Vicar slowly.
Everything quickly turned to chaos.
The bride slapped the groom.
The groom's mother fainted.
The groomsmen started giving each other looks
and wondering how best to help save the situation.
The Vicar asked the woman,
"Can you tell us why you came forward?
What do you have to say?"
The woman replied,
"We can't hear in the back."
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 14,976 Likes: 1
Member of the Inner Circle
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Member of the Inner Circle
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 14,976 Likes: 1 |
The top 15 funniest jokes from the Fringe
"My dad has suggested that I register for a donor card. He's a man after my own heart" - Masai Graham
"Why is it old people say "there's no place like home", yet when you put them in one…" - Stuart Mitchell
"I've been happily married for four years - out of a total of 10" - Mark Watson
"Apparently 1 in 3 Britons are conceived in an IKEA bed which is mad because those places are really well lit" - Mark Smith
"I went to a pub quiz in Liverpool, had a few drinks so wasn't much use. Just for a laugh I wrote The Beatles or Steven Gerrard for every answer… came second" - Will Duggan
"Brexit is a terrible name, sounds like cereal you eat when you are constipated" - Tiff Stevenson
"I often confuse Americans and Canadians. By using long words" - Gary Delaney
"Why is Henry's wife covered in tooth marks? Because he's Tudor" - Adele Cliff
"Don't you hate it when people assume you're rich because you sound posh and went to private school and have loads of money?" - Annie McGrath
"Is it possible to mistake schizophrenia for telepathy, I hear you ask" - Jordan Brookes
"Hillary Clinton has shown that any woman can be President, as long as your husband did it first" - Michelle Wolf
"I spotted a Marmite van on the motorway. It was heading yeastbound" - Roger Swift
"Back in the day, Instagram just meant a really efficient drug dealer" - Arthur Smith
"I'll tell you what's unnatural in the eyes of God. Contact lenses" - Zoe Lyons
"Elton John hates ordering Chinese food. Soya seems to be the hardest word" - Phil Nicol
Richard
1976 4/4 4 Seater
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Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 2,515
Talk Morgan Expert
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Talk Morgan Expert
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 2,515 |
1972 4/4 2 Seater
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Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 1,560 Likes: 7
Talk Morgan Enthusiast
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Talk Morgan Enthusiast
Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 1,560 Likes: 7 |
On his 70th birthday, a man was given a gift certificate from his wife. The certificate was for consultation with an Indian medicine man living on a nearby reservation who was rumored to have a simple cure for erectile dysfunction. The husband went to the reservation and saw the medicine man.
The old Indian gave him a potion and, with a grip on his shoulder, warned ‘This is a powerful medicine. You take only a teaspoonful, and then say: ‘1-2-3.' When you do, you will become more manly than you have ever been in your life,
and you can perform for as long as you want.”
The man thanked the old Indian, and as he walked away, he turned and asked: “How do I stop the medicine from working?" "Your partner must say ‘1-2-3-4,' he responded, "but when she does, the medicine will not work again until the next full moon.”
He was very eager to see if it worked so he went home, showered, shaved, took a spoonful of the medicine, and then invited his wife to join him in the bedroom.
When she came in, he took off his clothes and said: "1-2-3!” Immediately, he was the manliest of men.
His wife was excited and began throwing off her clothes, and asked: "What was the 1-2-3 for?”
And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition, because we could end up with a dangling participle.
Steve L.
1996 Plus 8
N22 MOG
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Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 14,723 Likes: 149
Member of the Inner Circle
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Member of the Inner Circle
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 14,723 Likes: 149 |
Peter ![[Linked Image]](http://bradley.it/public_images/drive.jpg)
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Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 26,747 Likes: 419
Member of the Inner Circle
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Member of the Inner Circle
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 26,747 Likes: 419 |
JohnV6
2022 CX Plus Four
2025 MG ZS EV aka Trigger
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 14,976 Likes: 1
Member of the Inner Circle
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Member of the Inner Circle
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 14,976 Likes: 1 |
At least it was not a past-participle!
Richard
1976 4/4 4 Seater
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Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 595
Talk Morgan Regular
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Talk Morgan Regular
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 595 |
Absolutely brilliant.
Perked up an otherwise dull day.
Worthers +8
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Joined: Jan 2016
Posts: 853
Talk Morgan Regular
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Talk Morgan Regular
Joined: Jan 2016
Posts: 853 |
On his 70th birthday, a man was given a gift certificate from his wife. The certificate was for consultation with an Indian medicine man living on a nearby reservation who was rumored to have a simple cure for erectile dysfunction. The husband went to the reservation and saw the medicine man.
The old Indian gave him a potion and, with a grip on his shoulder, warned ‘This is a powerful medicine. You take only a teaspoonful, and then say: ‘1-2-3.' When you do, you will become more manly than you have ever been in your life,
and you can perform for as long as you want.”
The man thanked the old Indian, and as he walked away, he turned and asked: “How do I stop the medicine from working?" "Your partner must say ‘1-2-3-4,' he responded, "but when she does, the medicine will not work again until the next full moon.”
He was very eager to see if it worked so he went home, showered, shaved, took a spoonful of the medicine, and then invited his wife to join him in the bedroom.
When she came in, he took off his clothes and said: "1-2-3!” Immediately, he was the manliest of men.
His wife was excited and began throwing off her clothes, and asked: "What was the 1-2-3 for?”
And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition, because we could end up with a dangling participle.
The best one ever, thanks for sharing
Ken A.
Plus 4 2009 Centenary Metallic Red
Plus 8 1994 Dark Green (prev)
Honda CB100 The Big One
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