Talk Morgan Forums Community The Malvern Arms Tongue in cheek Friday humour

AIDS WARNING !



To all of you approaching 60 or have REACHED 60 and past , this is specially for you .


SENIOR CITIZENS ARE THE WORLD'S LEADING CARRIERS OF AIDS !!!!


Hearing Aids.

Band Aids.

Walking Aids.

Medical Aids.

Government Aids.

Most of all
Monetary Aid to their kids !


Not Forgetting HIV .


( Hair is Vanishing )

A man died and went to Heaven.

As he stood in front of the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.

He asked, “What are all those clocks for?”

St. Peter answered, “Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone who has ever been on earth has a Lie-Clock.
Every time you lie, the hands on your clock move.”

“Oh”, said the man. “Whose clock is that?”

“That’s Mother Teresa’s”, replied St. Peter. “The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie.”

“Incredible”, said the man. “And whose clock is that one?”

St. Peter responded, “That’s Abraham Lincoln’s clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abraham told only two lies in his entire life.”

“Where’s Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton's clocks?” asked the man.

St. Peter replied, “We’re using them as ceiling fans.”

A billionair addresses a good looking model at a party: "You are so gorgeous and charming but I am a rather old chap so it may be unlikely you fall in love with me. Nevertheless I wold do everything possible to spend a night with you. Would you consider to accept 5 million $ to come with me? You could even do a lot of charity work with this money if you would not keep everything for yourslef." The model replies: "For 5 million it would be OK to spend a night with you." The lad continues: "May I fu@k you for 50 bucks?" "Are you nuts? You think I'm a hooker?" is her immediate reply. "Well" replies the guy "we have sorted that out at the beginning of our conversation. Now I'm negotiating the price."

I've just put all of my Dogging Equipment on E-Bay ... There've been no bids yet but there are 12 people watching....

Are their ears pricked and tails wagging?