Talk Morgan Forums Community The Malvern Arms Tongue in cheek Friday humour

That's strange. Those names sound awfully familiar

I hope not or you would have been on the bottle . He starts out Dominic and ends up Joey. Always had my doubts about quire boys.

Well spotted JTL, I completely missed that

I have just got back from the patent office to register my inventions. I signed in at the main desk and the receptionist had a form that had to be filled out. She wrote down my personal information and then asked me what I had invented.
I said, “A folding bottle.”
She said, “Okay, what do you call it?”
“A Fottle.”
“What else do you have?”
“A folding carton.” “What do you call it?”
“A Farton.”
She sniggered and said, “Those are silly names for products and one of them sounds kind of crude.”
I was so upset by her comment that I grabbed the form and left the office without even telling her about my folding bucket.

That's easy Joey (whose real name is Giovanni, is not only a sneaky b@@@@@r but a lier. He not only got the names of 5 girls but managed to put the blame on Dominic

It's funny about memory........

First you forget names,

Then you forget faces,

Then you forget to pull your zip up,

Then you forget to pull your zip down down!

Speak for your self i have no problem with faces.

Sounds like a few scroats I have had to deal with .

A good bloke never done anything wrong in his life and a bad bloke never done anything right in his life crash into each other and are killed.
In error the bad bloke goes up to heaven and the good bloke goes down to hell.

Up in heaven St Peter welcomes him at the gate and hands him a harp points to a cloud . He shouts "wheres the women the sex and the booze you old fart" St Peter is stunned trys to do it again and he shouts "any drugs and what about a betting shop and a brothel". St Peter is shaken but try's again with no luck every time he trys he gets the same and it just goes on and on for weeks .

Down in Hell the Devil grabs the other man and points , Booze in that room , gang bangs in that room over there and help yourself to the drugs have as much as you want " . He is shaken , " I only come here to work Sir " . The Devil say's this is Hell go on get as much sex drugs booze enjoy yourself have a gambol on the horses" . Again "sorry Sir "I only came to work I don't drink smoke or gambol " The Devil shakes his head and walk away .

Weeks are going by and nothing changes in both places . The Devil says " every time I ofer him fun he refuses there has to be a mistake , I know what I shall phone heaven ". He picks up the phone , " Hello is that Heaven ", "It is", "Is that the virgin Mary",
"It Was" .