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Aug 24th, 2023
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Joined: Aug 2013
Posts: 15,794 Likes: 14
Formerly known as Aldermog Member of the Inner Circle
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Formerly known as Aldermog Member of the Inner Circle
Joined: Aug 2013
Posts: 15,794 Likes: 14 |
Thoughts and reflections with a Buddhist flavour....
1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow.. In fact, just piss off and leave me alone.
2. Sex is like air. It's not that important unless you aren't getting any.
3. No one is listening until you fart.
4. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.
5. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
6. If you think nobody cares whether you're alive or dead, try missing a couple of mortgage payments.
7. Before you criticise someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
8.. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
9. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
10. If you lend someone £20 and never see that person again, it was probably well worth it.
11 If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
12. Some days you are the dog, some days you are the tree
13. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time
14. Good judgment comes from bad experience ... and most of that comes from bad judgment.
15. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
16. There are two excellent theories for arguing with women. Neither one works.
17. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.
18. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
19. We are born naked, wet and hungry, and get slapped on our arse ... then things just go downhill from there.
20. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
21. Life is too short to worry about how short life is.
Peter,
66, 2016 Porsche Boxster S
No longer driving Tarka, the 2014 Plus 8...
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Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 4,491 Likes: 65
Part of the Furniture
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Part of the Furniture
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 4,491 Likes: 65 |
2021 Lapis Blue Plus 6  You know it makes sense!  2016 Carmine Red 991.2 C4S
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Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 35,777 Likes: 468
Tricky Dicky Member of the Inner Circle
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OP
Tricky Dicky Member of the Inner Circle
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 35,777 Likes: 468 |
2009 4/4 Henrietta
1999 Indigo Blue +8
2009 4/4 Sport Green prev
1993 Connaught Green +8 prev
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Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,745 Likes: 12
Talk Morgan Enthusiast
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Talk Morgan Enthusiast
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,745 Likes: 12 |
A frog walks into a bank and goes up to the teller's counter. He sees from her name badge that that the teller is called Patricia Whack, and says, "Good morning Miss Whack, I'd like to get a £10,000 loan".The teller says, "But you are just a frog, do you have any ID ?"The frog says, "I am Kermit the frog and my Dad is Mick Jagger" - and with that pulls out an ID card from his wallet. The teller explains that Kermit will need some form of collateral in order to get a loan, and does he have anything that is worth £10,000? Kermit pulls a small hand crafted silver elephant out of his pocket and gives it to the teller. The teller examines in and tells Kermit that she will have to take it to the manager for evaluation, as she is not allowed to carry out evaluations. She takes the silver elephant into the manager and explains the story about Kermit whose Dad is Mick Jagger, wanting a loan, and giving the silver elephant as collateral. She adds that it doesn't look to be worth anything like £10,000 and asks the manager what it is. The manager replies, "It's a nick knack Patty Whack, give the frog a loan, his old mans a Rolling Stone". 
Aero8 , Series 1 - Boston Green
Mercedes EQC 400 AMG
Smart Brabus Convertible
Honda Monkey Z125
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Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 26,748 Likes: 419
Member of the Inner Circle
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Member of the Inner Circle
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 26,748 Likes: 419 |
JohnV6
2022 CX Plus Four
2025 MG ZS EV aka Trigger
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 4,328
Gone to Porsche Part of the Furniture
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Gone to Porsche Part of the Furniture
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 4,328 |
A frog walks into a bank and goes up to the teller's counter. He sees from her name badge that that the teller is called Patricia Whack, and says, "Good morning Miss Whack, I'd like to get a £10,000 loan".The teller says, "But you are just a frog, do you have any ID ?"The frog says, "I am Kermit the frog and my Dad is Mick Jagger" - and with that pulls out an ID card from his wallet. The teller explains that Kermit will need some form of collateral in order to get a loan, and does he have anything that is worth £10,000? Kermit pulls a small hand crafted silver elephant out of his pocket and gives it to the teller. The teller examines in and tells Kermit that she will have to take it to the manager for evaluation, as she is not allowed to carry out evaluations. She takes the silver elephant into the manager and explains the story about Kermit whose Dad is Mick Jagger, wanting a loan, and giving the silver elephant as collateral. She adds that it doesn't look to be worth anything like £10,000 and asks the manager what it is. "It's a nick knack Patty Whack, give the frog a loan, his old mans a Rolling Stone". Terrible that James, go to the back of the class
Last edited by Dean-Royal; 15/12/16 05:57 PM.
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Joined: Apr 2013
Posts: 1,705
Talk Morgan Enthusiast
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Talk Morgan Enthusiast
Joined: Apr 2013
Posts: 1,705 |
Graeme: 2011 +4
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Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 8,646
Needs to Get Out More!
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Needs to Get Out More!
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 8,646 |
Giles. Mogless in Paris.
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Joined: Aug 2013
Posts: 15,794 Likes: 14
Formerly known as Aldermog Member of the Inner Circle
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Formerly known as Aldermog Member of the Inner Circle
Joined: Aug 2013
Posts: 15,794 Likes: 14 |
James, you have reached new heights of awfulness... WELL DONE!! 
Peter,
66, 2016 Porsche Boxster S
No longer driving Tarka, the 2014 Plus 8...
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Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 11,863 Likes: 137
Scruffy Oik Member of the Inner Circle
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Scruffy Oik Member of the Inner Circle
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 11,863 Likes: 137 |
After seven years of medical training and hard work, my very good friend has been struck off after one minor indiscretion. He slept with one of his patients and now can no longer work in the profession. What a waste of time, training and money. A genuinely nice guy and a brilliant vet.........
Tim H.
1986 4/4 VVTi Sport, 2002 LR Defender, 2022 Mini Cooper SE
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